


The Moment He Finds A Hamilton On My Balcony

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-05-10 02:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 34,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5565442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Philip Hamilton gets dragged to a ball by his sister, Angie, he expects it to be the worst night of his life. He's always resented the idea of a ball, and he really resented it when he found out that the host would be none other than Aaron Burr. But what he thought would be the worst night of his life, might just turn out to be the best. (I suck at summaries, this is my first one, please just check this out.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Philip, you have to go to this ball" Angie pleaded, tugging at Philip's arm trying to get him up from his desk. Philip sighed as he lifted his head up to look at Angie  
"Why? So you can go socialize with your friends?"  
"No! That's not at all why!" Angie crossed her arms. Philip raised his eyebrows, and cocked his head. Angie held her position for only a little longer before she dropped her arms and said  
"Okay, maybe just a little bit, but listen, there's going to be a bunch of important people there, politicians, scholars, if you make a good impression it could get you places." Philip chuckled and leaned back in his chair  
"Angie, our dad is Alexander Hamilton, you really think I need to go to a ball to get places?"  
"Please, Philip." Angie pleaded "You could really get a good reputation, and plus... Girls."  
"Girls you say" Philip said as a wide sarcastic smile spread across his face.  
"Girls." Angie nodded. Philip chuckled and stood up  
"Alright, fine, I'll go, but only because of the girls."  
"I think you're coming because you love me."  
"No, because of the girls"  
"Whatever." Angie said, rolling her eyes, she then looked Philip up and down with a critical look in her eyes "Get you self ready, and do it quick, we have to leave soon if we want to get to the ball on time."  
"What do you mean? I am ready!" Phillip said, pretending to be offended. A smirk grew across Angie's face.   
"No, you are not. We're going to a ball, not a brothel."  
"Alright, I'll put on some nicer clothes. Now, please leave." Philip smiled. Angie smiled back, then left. Once Angie was gone, Philip stripped, and dug through a chest, in search of some nicer clothes. Philip had thrown at least six articles of clothing out of the chest before he at last found an outfit that would be acceptable to wear to a ball. He quickly threw on his clothes, an walked out of his room. He wasn't exited by the idea of a ball, but he didn't despise it, this wasn't the first time he had been dragged along to one by his sister. He slowly walked down the stairs and over to a chair, he flopped down onto it, and let out a huff of air. Philip soon realized that his hair was most likely a huge mess, he was trying to decide if fixing his hair for a ball he didn't want to go to was worth the effort, he decided it was. Philip got up, and with heavy steps, walked over to a mirror, he took one look at his hair and realized that it was indeed a huge mess. Philip took a moment to run his fingers through the mess of curly black hair that rested upon his head. He took one last look at himself before he turned and went back to sitting in his chair. He sat there alone with is thoughts for about a minute more, when his father walked through the front door of the house. Philip watched his father look down at himself and brush the dirt off of his coat, Philip then said in a quiet voice.  
"Hello pops." Alexander looked up from his coat, seemingly surprised, he had large and dark circles under his eyes, his hair was a mess, his clothes where wrinkled, he was most likely tired, after all he hadn't slept in a bed in about two weeks, Eliza wouldn't let him. For the first time, Philip pitied his father. A tired yet joyfull smile spread across Alexander's face  
"Hello Philip! I didn't know you would be home. You seem to be dressed quite nicely."  
"I'm going to a ball, or to put it honestly, being dragged to one." Philip smiled a little. Alexander kept the smile that was on his face as he walked to a different chair and took a seat in it.  
"Oh really? By whom?"  
"Angie."  
"Angie's here?" Alexander said, happy that he happened to be home at the same time as his children "Where is she?"  
"Right here." Came Angie's voice. Philip turned his head towards the stair case, Angie was standing there in her sky blue dress. Alexander turned his head as well   
"Angie! How are you?"  
"Good" she put on a small smile "I'd love to stay and talk but me and Phillip really must be going."  
"Oh" Alexander's smile fell. Angie walked out the door, but Philip stayed back. Philip felt extremely bad for his father, he knew that his mother had every right to be angry at him for having an affair and then telling the entire world about it, but Philip hated to see his father hurting this bad. Philip got up from his chair and walked over to his father, he leaned down and have him a tight hug  
"I love you." Philip said   
"I love you too, Philip." Alexander said as Philip walked out the door. Philip closed the door behind him and then looked up and saw a carriage sitting in front of the house. Philip hurried along and hopped into the carriage, as soon as he was inside of it Angie began talking   
"Are you exited?" Angie said enthusiastically   
"Nope." Philip said with a little chuckle  
"Well it's to late to go back now" Angie said with a smug smile on her face. Philip laughed and then leaned back in his seat, he was not looking forward to this.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Later that night at the ball Philip was not having a good time. He stood there in the corner of the ball room, watching his sister as she danced and chatted with her freinds. Philip huffed before he looked around the ball room once more, nothing in particular caught his eye, that was until he spotted a girl from across the ball room. Philip was immediatly enthralled by her beauty, the way her hair fell upon her shoulders, the way the candle light shown on her beautiful brown skin, and most of all, her beautiful brown eyes. Philip needed to know her name. He hurried over to Angie, who was standing in a group of her friends. Philip grabbed her by the arm and said in a low voice  
"Angie, who is that girl" he said looking over at her  
"What girl?" Angie said looking around   
"The one I'm looking at!"  
"Philip" Angie said with a sarcastic tone in her voice "There are a lot of girls here."  
"Fine" Philip said getting frustrated "the one in the green dress" Angie looked out at the ball room until her eyes fell upon the girl Philip was talking about.  
"Why, that's Theodosia Burr." Theodosia Burr, the name sank in as Philip began to move in Theodosia's direction. Burr. Philip knew about the Burr's, he knew that they had no opinions, and where all prim and proper, he knew that Aaron Burr had changed parties just so he could run against his grandfather. Philip knew that his father would not appreciate him doing this, but in that moment Philip couldn't care less. He slowly made his way over to Theodosia as he contemplated what he should say to her. Philip knew that her father had most likely told her to stay away from the Hamiltons, but he wasn't going to not tell her his name, he decided that he would just politely say his name, and then maybe se would give him a chance. Philip made his way over to Theodosia and politely said  
"This is such a lovely ball room"  
"Indeed, it's a pleasure to meet you, my name is Theodosia Burr."  
"Philip Hamilton."  
"Hamilton?" Theodosia raised an eyebrow. Philip's heart began to race, he was nervous, he was nervous that she would turn him away because he was a Hamilton, his mind began to race with a million different thoughts of how this could go wrong when Theodosia stopped it by saying   
"I'm so sorry to hear about the Reynolds Pamphlet" Oh god, the pamphlet. Of course. He hated that stupid pamphlet, now whenever anyone looked at him that's all they thought about. Philip shook off his worries, as he knew that that would get him absolutely nowhere.   
"Yeah... Would you like to dance?" Philip said, holding out his hand. Theodosia smiled   
"As a matter of fact I would" she said taking his hand. They glided around the dance floor to the rhythm of the music. Philip was so taken aback by the beauty of Theodosia that he couldn't find the words to say anything to her. He could only look in her eyes and take in the beauty of them. Philip was fully prepared to go the whole night without saying another word to her, that was until Theodosia looked up at Philip and said  
"What do you want to do when you get older."  
"I don't really know. I haven't figured a lot of things out yet. I guess I would want to go into politics like my father. What do you want to do?" Theodosia sighed   
"It's always been a personal dream of mine to go into politics. Now, I know that it is absolutely absurd that a lady would want to go into politics, so I think I'll just settle for being a house wife."  
"Why settle for being a housewife when you could go and follow your dreams?" Philip asked  
"Philip" as soon as Philip's name left Theodosia's lips a chill ran down his spine, he loved it. In fact, he loved it so much he almost forgot to listen to the rest of her sentence.  
"Do you really think that the government is going to include women anytime soon?" Philip sighed and looked down at his feet.  
"I suppose not"  
"Eyes up Philip, stop looking at your feet so much." Theodosia said with a smile dancing across her face. Philip looked up from his feet and smiled back. God, her smile is so beautiful.   
"What ever you say madam." Philip said sarcastically   
"Hamiltons don't have manners!" She said with equal sarcasm.  
"Burrs don't have opinions" Philip said. Theodosia sighed   
"Actually we do."  
"Oh really?" Philip said curiously "Than why does your father change political parties every chance he gets?"  
"We have opinions, it's just that we keep them to our selves, and we do what ever gets us farthest." Philip wanted to look Theodosia in the eye and say "That's horrible and dishonest." But he couldn't bring himself to do it, he could say that to Aaron Burr anyday, but he couldn't say it to Theodosia. They danced away until the music stopped, Theodosia let go of Philip, and Philip let go of Theodosia even though he didn't want to. Philip could dance with Theodosia all night long if she would let him, he realized that the night was still young, and he supposed that it wouldn't hurt to ask her for another dance.  
"Would you like to dance again?"  
"I'm sure she would." Came a voice from behind him. Philip turned around to find Angie standing behind him. "But we need to get home."  
"But Angie-"  
"Mother told me when we should be home, we need to leave now." Angie said taking Philips's wrist.  
"Good bye Theodosia." Philip said as Angie dragged him out the door. The two got into a carriage and began to make there way home. About half way through the trip Angie turned to Philip and said  
"You fancy Theodosia Burr." Philip would lie to Angie and tell her that he would never fancy a Burr, but he knew that Angie wouldn't but any of it, so he simply said  
"Promise you won't say anything to anyone?"  
"Promise" Angie nodded. Philip sighed and with a smile, rested his head against the window. Maybe this night wasn't so bad after all.


	2. A Midnight Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip decides that he didn't have the chance to really talk with Theodosia at the ball, so he sneaks out to go visit her.

When Philip walked through the door after he had gotten back from the ball the first thing he saw was his mother sitting in a chair in the living room. She was seemingly knitting a scarf when she looked up at Philip and Angie 

"Hello darlings!" she said with a smile "Thank you for being home on time."

"Would you enlighten on why you wanted us home so early?" Philip said as he approached his mother. Eliza stood up and set her knitting supplies down on the chair. 

"I wanted to have a family dinner tonight" Philip's heart skipped a beat at the idea, the Hamiltons hadn't had a family dinner ever since his father published the Reynolds Pamphlet.

"Does that mean father will be joining us." Philip said with caution.

"I suppose." Eliza's smile disappeared and her tone went cold. "Alexander, we're having dinner." She called towards his office. Alexander poked his head out from his office 

"Am I invited to join you?"

"Yes" Eliza pressed her lips together. Philip could feel how tense it was getting.

"Mother, where are the others?" Philip questioned.

"Upstairs." Eliza nodded "Children, come down stairs, we're having dinner." With in a matter of seconds the rest of the Hamilton children had flooded the living room. The entire family made there way into the dining room and sat down at the table. They all began eating the stew that Eliza had prepared for them. Alexander had taken a seat next to Eliza and was staring down at his plate. In a desperate attempt at conversation Eliza looked up at Philip and said

"How was the ball?"

"Good" Philip said without emotion.

"Did you meet any girls?"

"No" Philip said hastily. Angie smirked 

"Oh really? Because I saw-" Philip kicked Angie under the table "I saw... A bunch of girls that Philip could have courted" At this point Philip's cheeks had gotten bright red and Angie's smirk had grown into a wide smile. The Hamiltons ate the rest of their meal in silence.

When it came time for bed Philip couldn't find it within him to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes the the beautiful image of Theodosia would appear in his mind, he would normally be happy to fall asleep with the image of a lady in his mind, but something within him felt like he didn't get to say goodbye properly, and Philip knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep until he had that satisfaction. Philip quietly got out of his bed and tiptoed down the stairs. He spent at least ten minutes staring at the door, building up the courage to actually do it, before he finally placed his hand on the doorknob, and slowly, began to open the door. Philip had opened the door about half way when the hinges creaked, during the day it wouldn't matter whether the door creaked or not, but during the night everything was silent, and the sound of the door creaking echoed through the house. Philip froze for a couple of seconds to listen for anyone that had woken up due to the door creaking. The house was silent. Philip opened the door the rest of the way and then slipped out, he slowly closed the door behind him. Once Philip had made it outside he let out a huff of air and allowed himself a moment to calm down. After Philip had calmed down he began to walk towards Theodosia's house. He knew the location of her house because he had taken carriage rides to pick his father up from the Burr household many times. 

Philip walked along the empty streets of his town for about a half hour before he at last reached the farmiliar house that Theodosia resided in. He slowly approached the house, careful not to wake anyone up, he looked around trying to figure out which bedroom was the bedroom that Theodosia slept in. Philip couldn't know for sure so he just decided to take his chances with the room that had a white balcony. Philip picked up a few pebbles and began to throw them at the window he hoped belonged to Theodosia's bedroom. He threw one stone, then two, then three, finally he saw the doorknob begin to turn. Philip's heart began to beat faster, if Aaron Burr stepped out on that balcony, it would have to be the worst experience of Philip's life. Thank god that the person who stepped out on the balcony was none other than Theodosia Burr.

"Philip? Is that you?" 

"Did I wake you?" Philip whispered as he approached the balcony slowly.

"No. Why have you come here?" Theodosia said with a genuinely confused tone.

"I feel like I didn't get to say a proper goodbye, and I couldn't sleep because of it." At these words Theodosia smiled, and Philip swore that he could see a hint of color rising in her cheeks.

"Would you like to come up here?" Theodosia said with a softer tone of voice.

"Of course." Philip nodded. He walked towards the balcony and gripped the bars of it, he then hoisted himself up and over the railing. He smiled at Theodosia "Goodbye."

"Goodbye" Theodosia giggled. Philip abruptly grabbed Theodosia's waist and pulled her into a kiss. He loved the feeling of her soft lips against his, he could just stay like that forever, but that moment came to a halt when Theodosia pushed Philip off of her.

"Philip!" She said with a hint of anger in her voice "What do you think you're doing?" Philip awkwardly leaned back against the railing

"Uh... I d-dunno." He mumbled as his face turned bright red, this had never happened to him before.

"Philip Hamilton, I will not become just another one of your conquests!" She said as she crossed over to him. "Now sit up, it's no good for a gentleman to go slouching like that."

"Okay" Philip said as he hurried to stand up, his cheeks where still a bright shade of pink. 

"Good." Theodosia smiled "Now that you've stood up, we can have a proper conversation. Care to enlighten me on why you had to leave the ball so early in the night?"

"Yeah" Philip cleared his throat "We had a family dinner that I needed to attend, I am family after all." Theodosia chuckled but then adopted a more curious look on her face

"Now, I don't mean to probe, but I didn't know you still had family dinners after the pamphlet." Philip down cast his eyes at the mention of the pamphlet.

"This was our first one since it was published, and it was terribly awkward."

"I can't pretend to know what that level of tension must be like, but I can say the mood is never light when our fathers eat together." Philip became curious at this 

"You're in the room when they have a meal together?" Theodosia blushed

"I'm not supposed to be, but I always listen through the door." Philip laughed at the thought of Theodosia secretly listening to one of his fathers rants. Theodosia looked at Philip "In fact, why don't they ever meet at your home?"

"Because of the children that run ramped through it." Philip chuckled. "It must be terribly lonesom around your home." Theodosia shook her head 

"Not when you've lived without siblings for your entire life. Books usually keep me occupied, I have a vast collection of them, I must have read each one atleast twice."

"What's your favorite one?" Philip questioned. Theodosia sighed 

"I can't choose a favorite one."

"Come on" Philip laughed "If you had to choose."

"I can't choose" Theodosia insisted with a childish smile on her face.

"Fine" Philip gave up "Can you choose a favorite genre?"

"Politics" Theodosia said without thinking

"You did tell me you like politics." Theodosia and Philip stayed laughing for a couple more seconds before Theodsia looked at Philip and said 

"What time is it?" Philip looked up at the moon only to find that it was nearing the center of the sky.

"Late."

"You must be going." Theodsia said "You know how my father is, the moment he finds a Hamilton on my balcony is the moment he kills a Hamilton."

"Ah Miss Burr, and you know how my father is, the moment he finds me on a Burr's balcony is also the moment he kills a Hamilton." Theodosia laughed at this. "Goodbye." Philip said one last time before stealing off into the night.

Philip walked home with a huge smile on his face. He felt so delighted when he was in Theodosia's presence. He was so happy that he practically skipped all the way home. When he reached his household he once again slowly opened the door, he poked his head in the house only to find Angie standing there staring at him. Philip looked at Angie pleadingly 

"Angie please-"

"If anyone asks me" Angie cut him off "I was asleep the whole night."

"Thank you" Philip nodded before stepping inside, closing the door, and hurrying upstairs. Philip laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, once again he saw the beautiful image of Theodosia Burr, but this time he was able to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this. This is my first fanfic I have written, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. About the paragraphing, I put paragraphing in last time but it didn't register when I posted it, so I tried something different this time.


	3. A Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip runs into Theodosia and her father when he takes a trip into town. He finds that Aaron Burr does not like him at all, and has to face the harsh truth that their fathers are political rivals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for checking this out! I hope you enjoy <3

Philip Hamilton usually woke up before his siblings but after his father. This particular morning he awoke later that usual, and that's why he found himself sitting directly across from Angie while eating his breakfast.

"What are you doing today?" Angie questioned

"I don't know." Philip said as he shrugged. Angie smirked 

"I know what you're going to do."

"Oooooo the mystical Angie Hamilton!" He said whith a hint of sarcasm in his voice "Tell me Angie, what will I be doing today?" He folded his hands and put a fake serious look.

"Theodosia Burr" A sly smile spread across Angie's face.

"Stop it!" He scolded. Angie laughed. Philip wanted nothing more than for Angie to leave him alone, he wasn't going to just ask her to leave, because Angie wouldn't just listen to Philip for no reason, but Philip knew exactly what to do to get her to leave.

"I haven't made love to Theodosia yet, but I have made love to-"

"Stop it!"

"That girl at that other ball I went to, and then there was that one girl that-"

"Shut up Philip!" Angie said as she plugged her ears and got up to leave. Just as she was about to exit the room she turned to look at Philip "I would rather die than hear about your sex life." Once Angie was gone a smirk appeared on Philip's face as he leaned back in his chair.

The rest of Philip's morning was delightfully uneventful. He avoided Angie in hopes of avoiding being mocked. Philip locked himself in his room and tried to study. He attempted to read books and he attempted to write essays, but he simply couldn't concentrate. The only thing he really was able to finish was a love poem he had written for Theodosia. He left the poem on his desk, he never thought of what would happen if someone where to find that poem.

Philip decided that he would go into town. He informed his mother of where he was going and that he would be back by dinner if not sooner. Philip concluded that he wouldn't take a carriage into town. Why take a carriage when you can walk? It took Philip about fourty five minutes to walk all the way into town, it was only then did he realize he had forgotten his money. He realized that it was useless being in town if you had no money to spend. Philip had begun walking home when he caught a glimpse of a familiar face. As he neared the girl he confirmed that it was in fact Theodosia Burr.

"Good afternoon Theo!" Philip said as he trotted up to her. Theodosia smiled.

"Hello Philip... When did you start calling me Theo?" She raised her eyebrow. 

"Since now." Said Philip as a wide smile spread across his face. God, he was so indescribably happy when she was around. Once again, Philip took in Theodosia radiant smile, shining eyes, beautiful brown skin, and that amazing black curly hair.

"Does that mean I can call you Phil?" Theodosia asked jokingly. Just when you though Philip's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.

"No. Angie only calls me Phil when she wishes to make me-"

"Good afternoon Mr Hamilton." Came a deep voice from behind Theodosia.

"Hello Mr Burr." Philip said in a small voice. Even though he would never say it out loud, Philip was intimidated by Aaron Burr, in fact he was intimidated by any girl's father. 

"What brings you here?" Aaron Burr questioned. Philip knew exactly what that, it ment Burr wanted to know why he had been talking to his daughter.

"I was just..." He quickly and silently snatched a bit of fabric from Theodosia's basket "Returning this fabric that she had dropped." Philip handed the fabric back to Theodosia.

"Well" Aaron Burr nodded "that was very kind of you, but we must be going now" And just like that Theodosia had walked off with her father. Philip's smile faded as he walked back to his home, Theodosia's father really didn't like him.

Once Philip was inside his home he entered his room and silently closed his door. He should have known he wasn't completely safe, because moments later Angie came walking through his door. 

"Would you care to knock next time?" Philip said with an annoyed tone of voice. 

"Sorry." Angie said as she leaned against the door frame "What do you have planned tonight?"

"Nothing." Philip breathed, he was getting more annoyed by the second. Angie smiled slyly

"I think you're going to think about Theodosia while you-"

"Would you just shut the hell up?" Philip snapped. The smirk vanished from Angie's face. 

"Sorry" she said in a voice that was barely audible. Philip sighed and stood up to walk over to her. 

"I'm sorry, it's just... I saw her today and she was with her father, and he didn't like me. I don't know how I feel about her. I get so happy when she's around, like she's this light that I've just never had in my life, and yet I look at our fathers and how they rival each other in politics. If pops ever found out that I was in love with a Burr he... he would disown me!" Philip said with a terribly sad expression on his face.

"So you're in love with her?" Angie asked

"No" Philip turned away from Angie.

"Then why'd you say that you do?"

"I ment like... Fancy a Burr, I don't love her... Not yet."

"I see" Angie nodded "I'll try not to taunt you, but you know me, sometimes I have to." Philip laughed 

"Okay" he said as he and Angie embraced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so short, it was supposed to be longer, but I decided that I would split it into two chapters, so I'll upload another shorter chapter tomorrow.


	4. Mixed Signals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Philip visits Theodosia's household again, the two engage in a jumbled conversation, and that leads to mixed signals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, it's hard to find your own mistakes, I'm also sorry if this gets updated later than I wanted it to be, I finished it but something happened and it all got deleted. Enjoy!

After Philip and Angie had made amends, Angie went to bed, but Philip decided to stay up and read. There where times when Philip enjoyed the solitude of his room, but tonight he wanted to be around people, so he read in the living room. He sat directly across from Eliza and read while she continued to knit. They spoke a few words to each other here and there, but it was mostly silent.

Once Philip had read what he thought to be a large amount of book, he walked upstairs to his room. Philip entered silently and then looked up only to find his father standing in the middle of it. What the hell was he doing in Philip's room? Philip would have asked his father that, but part of him was curious as to what his father would do, so he stood silently in the door frame and watched. Alexander stood in the center of the room for a few more minutes before he quietly walked over to Philip's desk and gently ran his hands over his books, when Alexander came across a folded piece of paper he stopped and stared at it. Philip hadn't yet remembered what he had written on that piece of paper. It was only when Alexander began to unfold the paper did Philip realize "Shit. That's my love poem."

"Pops! Dont read that!" Philip said as he ran up to his father and ripped the letter from his hands.

"Why?" Alexander said as the edges of his lips curved up.

"Because I don't want you reading it!"

"Come on Philip, let me see it." He held out his hand

"No!" Philip said before hurried down the stairs and threw his poem into the fire.

"Wow" said Alexander as he followed Philip down the stairs "you really didn't want me reading that."

"Hey, I'm not the only one in this family who burns things." At that Eliza gave Philip an angry look "Sorry" Philip mumbled.

Things where much more tense after Philip mentioned how his mother had burned all of his fathers letters, in order to avoid the tension Philip locked himself in his bedroom. He fully intended to visit Theodosia sometime during the night, in fact he wanted to go and visit her right that moment, but alas his father was still awake, so he would simply have to wait. As soon as Alexander had drifted off to sleep Philip began to get ready. He quietly slipped on his shoes, and did the same with his coat. Philip was more than half way down the stairs when he froze, he had realized that even though his father was asleep he was still in his office. Philip could have tried to sneak past him, but that was a risk he wasn't willing to take. Once again Philip found himself sitting in his room without a plan of how to sneak out. It only took Philip a few minutes to realize that he could easily slip out through his window. Philip quickly left his home through the window and began to walk.

The winter air bit at Philip's skin, but he trudged on. Many times Philip considered turning back and going home where it was warm, for Theodosia wasn't expecting him, but Philip's urge to see her again gave him the strength to keep walking. At long last Philip had arived at Theodosia's house. He walked up to the same white balcony that he had walked up to the time before. Instead of throwing pebbles at her window he simply climbed up on her balcony and hastily knocked on her balcony door. Apparently Theodosia had been asleep because she let out an ear piercing scream. Once she realized it was Philip she looked releived, but became worried once again as she heard footsteps coming towards her door. Theodosia mouthed the word "hide" at Philip as she made frantic hand gestures. Philip obeyed Theodosia and hastily moved to the side of her glass balcony door. He pressed his back up against the wall and clenched his eyes shut. Philip heard the door swing open and Aaron burr say

"Theodoisa, are you alright?"

"Yes papa." Philip heard Theodosia say in a soft voice

"What caused you to scream like that?" Burr said in a worried tone.

"I had a nightmare" she said.

"Okay... Goodnight."

"Goodnight papa." Philip heard the door shut, he waited a few seconds before checking to see if Burr had left, he had. Theodosia quietly walked up to the balcony door, she then opend it. 

"Philip you scared me!" She half scolded him. 

"Sorry" he whispered "I didn't think I would." Theodosia sighed 

"Waking up to the silhouette of a man standing on your balcony is quite an unsettling thing to wake up to."

"Next time I'll be sure to just throw pebbles at your window." Philip whispered

"Oh my..." She said sympathetically "Your fingers are practically blue, come inside."

"Thank you." Philip said as he stepped inside.

"No need to thank me" Theodosia said as she closed the door "it's freezing outside."

"I'm still going to thank you." Philip said with a smile.

"You know if my father ever catches us he's going to think we've been seeing each other." Theodosia sat on the edge of her bed. Philip's heart sank, she had said that like it was suck a crazy thought. He wanted to curse at himself for thinking he had a chance with such a kind and beautiful woman.

"What?" Philip plastered a huge fake smile on his face "Why would he ever think that?"

"I don't know!" Theodosia laughed

"We're just friends." Philip looked happy, but on the inside he was dying. Once Theodosia had finished laughing she looked at Philip 

"You do realize that we can't keep meeting like this?"

"How else are we supposed to meet?" Philip shrugged 

"You need to write to me." Said Theodosia as she placed a hand on Philip's shoulder. Philip nearly died when Theodosia touched him, he felt as if he could just float right up into the sky.

"Don't you think my father would become suspicious if I started frequently receiving letters from Theodosia Burr?" He asked with a normal tone, despite him wanting to fly.

"I'm not worried about him getting suspicious, I'm worried about you noticing that suspicion and then writing a detailed confession of our friendship." That hurt. Philip downcast his eyes.

"Oh..." Theodosia said in a soft and caring voice "I'm so sorry Philip, I didn't mean to hurt you, it just slipped out." She pulled him into a tight hug. That made up for it. Philip wrapped his arms around Theodosia as butterflies flooded his stomach. Philip wanted that moment to last forever, but like any other hug, it had to end. Philip was at a loss for words, that hug had left him breathless and utterly helpless. 

"You must be going. I don't know about you, but I need my rest." Theodosia said as Philip smiled and nodded

"I'll write to you, but only if you promise to write back."

"I promise to write back." Theodosia smiled. Philip waved goodbye and just like that, he was on his way home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Philip had gone home, Theodosia was left to be alone with her thoughts. She silently laid on her bed, looking into the blackness before her. She was mildly upset, she had hoped that when she said that her father would think they where seeing each other, Philip would be bold and tell her that he fancied her, but no, he simply smiled and told her that they where just friends. Theodosia had assumed that he fancied her, ever since he kissed her that one night, but he didn't know her then, she supposed that once he had gotten to know her he had lost feelings for her, ideally out of respect. Theodosia wanted to melt into his kiss the night that he first visited her, but she wouldn't be won over that easy. When they had hugged that night, she felt like holding him forever, but she didn't want to make Philip uncomfortable. She would simply have to get over it. She couldn't describe how bad she felt for hurting him when she had made a reference to his fathers most recent pamphlet, she didn't know what she had been thinking as to say something so spiteful. Theodosia also forced herself to remember that her father and Philip's father frequently fought over politics. There where times when Theodosia felt that she couldn't contain her feelings, but then she remembered that Burrs where known for hiding their feelings, she could do it, she could contain her hurt, she would have to contain her hurt.


	5. Suitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Philip writes a letter to Theodosia, he learns that she has another suitor.

Philip hadn't seen or talked to Theodosia for three days since their last meeting. Despite him not being able to contact her, Philip simply couldn't stop thinking of Theodosia. Many times he would contemplate sneaking out at night to go visit her again, but then he would remember how she had asked him to write to her instead of waking her in the middle of the night. Philip tried to write to Theodosia, he would have a piece of paper on his desk, he would have full intentions to write to her, but then he would just stare at the blank sheet of paper and end up writing nothing down. Philip was afraid that his father would find out about the letters and proceed to endlessly tease him, or worse Theodosia's father would see that he had written a letter to her, and then he would get suspicious, and then he would forbid Philip from ever talking to Theodosia ever again. Philip couldn't even begin to think about what would happen if he could never talk to her again.

Philip couldn't take it anymore, it looked like he would have to write a letter to Theodosia. Philip got up from where he had been sitting, and walked over to his desk. He slowly leaned down and got a piece of paper from a drawer at the bottom of his desk, he got a feather quill and a bottle of ink from a different drawer. Philip took a deep breath as he sat down and dipped his pen in the ink. He touched the pen to the paper and began to write.

Thirty minutes later, Philip held up the letter he had just spent a good amount of time writing. He had made sure to prefect everything, he made certain that no spelling or punctuation mistakes had been made, and after using up eight pieces of paper, Philip had finally composed the perfect letter. He read it over one last time, it didn't sound as good as it had sounded in his head, but it would have to do. Philip smiled as he slipped the letter into a white envelope and sealed it with blood red wax. Philip hurried down stairs with the letter in hand. Upon arriving down stairs Philip saw his father getting ready to head out the door.

"Hey Pops, where are you off to?"

"Oh, I'm just going to take a few letters to the post office." Alexander's eyes flickered over to Philip's letter "Would you like me to take that letter for you?" Philip began to panic. He most definitely didn't want his father to know that he was sending a letter to Theodosia, but he couldn't decline his fathers offer, for there was no logical reason that he shouldn't let his father take the letter to the post office, and if Philip declined it would look extremely suspicious.

"Y-yes please." Philip said as he held out his letter with a trembling hand. Alexander took the letter from Philip and glanced down at the front of it, he then slowly looked up from the letter and made eye contact with Philip. He gave Philip that suspicious look, Philip began fidgeting and sweating. Alexander stared at Philip for a good five seconds, he was definitely suspicious. Philip smiled awkwardly

"Thanks." He said as he ran back up to the shelter of his room. Philip collapsed onto his bed. Oh god, this was exactly why Philip didn't want to write to Theodosia. All Philip could do was pray that his father wouldn't tease him. The worst thing that Alexander could do was tell Burr.

Philip had devoted the rest of his evening to avoiding his father. In order to not have to talk to Alexander Philip had told his mother that he would be retiring to bed earlier than usual. Philip had closed his door and lit a candle before he had laid down in his bed. Philip could only think about Theodosia and what he would do if either one of their fathers ever decided to forbid them from talking to each other. Philip was willing to go the extra mile and continue to lose sleep in order to maintain he and Theodoisa's friendship, but he didn't know how much their friendship ment to Theodosia, he assumed that she didn't care that much about him. Philip would always tell him self that no girl as beautiful and kind as Theodosia would ever-

"Philip!" Angie yelled as she burst through the door "You need to hear this!"

"Holy shit Angie!" Philip half scolded as he quickly sat up "You scared the hell out of me!" He sighed. Angie hurried over to Philip and sat next to him.

"It's important." Said Angie with urgency in her voice

"How important?" Philip said tiredly

"Really important." 

"Okay, go ahead." Philip sighed.

"Theodosia's got a suitor." Suddenly Phillip was far more awake than he had been when Angie entered his room.

"What?" He said in shock.

"You heard me!" Philip was overwhelmed with emotions. In that moment he was a mixture of shocked, angry, and scared. Forget what he would do if they couldn't see eachother again, what would he do if she got married?!

"Who is it?" Philip said, still in shock.

"His name is Joseph Alston." Angie said "I hear that he's planning to propose to Theodosia. Burr needs money, and Alston's got money, so there's a good chance that Alston and Theodosia will end up married."

"Oh my god." Philip said wide eyed and on the verge of tears. Angie seemed to notice how upset Philip was, so she adopted a more sympathetic look on her face and said

"I'm sorry." Angie pulled Philip into a tight hug, she then got up and began to leave. "Goodnight." 

Philip laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't deal with her getting married. Philip wanted to kill Joseph Alston. He had been afraid of his father becoming suspicious of his feelings for Theodosia, but this was far worse. Philip felt like he couldn't even breathe. He didn't understand what was wrong with him, normally he would be bold and tell her how he felt, but every time he even considered confessing his feelings to her his nerves would take over and he would feel like throwing up. Philip couldn't believe he was admitting this to himself, but he was starting to fall in love with Theodosia Burr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is short, I had a bit of writers block. Thank you for reading and commenting, it means alot to me.


	6. Dinner Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hamiltons have the Burrs over for dinner.

Philip awoke to the sound of Angie's voice ringing through the house

"I have letters!" She said as she hurried upstairs. Philip knew her routine, if you had received a letter Angie would knock on you're door and give it to you. All Philip could do was hope that Angie would knock. Philip was overjoyed when her heard that familiar pounding on his door. Philip opened the door just wide enough that he could poke his head out to look at Angie.

"You got a letter." Angie said as she handed an envelope to Philip. Philip smiled widely "It's not from Theodosia." She said in a quieter tone of voice. Philip's smile fell from his face.

"Oh." He took the letter. It had been six days since Theodosia had last written to him, and quite honestly Philip was getting a little nervous. Theodosia had responded to Philip's first letter within a day, he had responded to that letter within a day, and now he was stuck waiting for her response. Philip was always one to jump to conclusions, maybe her letter had gotten lost in the mail, maybe she didn't like him, maybe she died, Philip quickly eliminated that thought, he would have heard of her death. Philip sighed as he threw the letter on his desk, he decided that he would read it later. Philip collapsed on his bed, he let out a huff of air as he rolled over and planted his face into his pillow. He couldn't stop thinking of Theodosia, it took an extreme amount of self control to not visit her in the middle of the night again. Part of Philip was jealous, Theodosia was probably writing plenty of letters to Joseph Alston.

After Philip had finished feeling sorry for himself be got up and sloppily threw on some clothes. He glanced around his room, it was a huge mess, but Philip was far to distracted to clean it up. He swung open his door and sauntered downstairs, the boredom was tedious. Philip slowly walked into his fathers office, after all, he had nothing better to do. 

"Hi pops." He breathed. Alexander looked up from what he had been writing

"Hello Philip, what brings you here?"

"There's simply nothing to do in this house." Philip sighed as he ran his fingers along the edges of his fathers desk.

"You know..." Alexander said as he folded his hands "You've been sending a lot of letters to Theodosia Burr, and I belive she has sent you a letter." Oh shit. Philip's cheeks began to heat up as his heart rate increased. This was the moment he'd been dreading since he sent Theodosia that first letter.

"Uh... Yeah." Philip said nervously.

"May I ask why?"

"Well" Philip said as he awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other "I ran into her in town, and she had dropped a piece of fabric, so I returned it to her, and she wrote me that letter to... Thank me. I wrote back to acknowledge her and that's all."

"Oh" Alexander said as he fidgeted with a piece of paper "because it seems to me that a romance might be blossoming between you and Miss Theodosia Burr." Oh god. Philip didn't know what to say. He never should have come into his fathers office in the first place.

"What?!" Philip said trying his best to sound utterly scandalized. "I could never have romantic feelings for a Burr!" He just managed to choke that lie out. "What could make you think that?"

"I think that because you snuck out of the house in the middle of the night."

"What?" Philip said in shock. How could his father have possibly found out about him sneaking out. Angie must have told him. Philip hated Angie in that moment.

"Your mother wanted to make sure you had been sleeping properly, so she went to check on you. When she opened your door you weren't in your room and your window was ajar." Philip nearly fainted. This was the second worst day of his life, coming shortly after the day the Reynolds Pamphlet had been published. He felt lightheaded and his stomach ached. 

"I needed a breath of fresh air."

"So you left through your window?"

"I didn't want to wake you!"

"Really?"

"Really." Philip insisted as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Alright." Alexander said as he picked up his pen and continued to write. Philip quickly exited the office, as soon as he had closed the door he saw Angie leaning against the wall.

"That was quite a pack of lies you just told him."

"Shut up." Philip grumbled as he made his way to his room.

After a few hours of Philip hiding in his room the sun began to go down. Philip stayed looking out his window until he heard a knock at his bedroom door. Philip groaned as he got up to go answer it. He swung open the door, standing there was his mother. 

"Philip, could you put on some nicer clothes." She asked in a soft tone.

"Why?" He questioned.

"The Burrs are coming over for dinner."

"Really?" Philip tried to contain his excitement.

"Would I lie?" Eliza said before she shut the door. As soon as Eliza had left a huge smile appeared on Philip's face. He was overjoyed. He would finally get the chance to see Theodosia again. He would be able to look into her gorgeous eyes when he talked to her. Philip immediatly began digging through his clothes in search of the perfect outfit. Philip spent about five minutes searching before he found the clothes he decided he would wear when the Burrs came over. Philip took his time making sure everything looked perfect. After Philip had gotten ready all he could do was wait.

Later that evening when Philip heard a knock come from the door it took everything he had to not bolt down he stairs and swing open the door. He took a deep breath before calmly and slowly making his way down the steps. When Philip arrived down stairs his father and mother where already greeting the Burrs. Theodosia looked up at Philip and smiled, that made his heart skip a beat, Philip flashed a smile back at her before he walked up to his mother and stood my her side. 

"Hello Philip." Aaron said as he firmly shook Philip's hand.

"Hello Mr. Burr." Philip said back. Theodosia stepped forward

"Good evening Philip." She curtsied. Theodosia looked absolutely breathtaking, each time Philip laid eyes on her she seemed to get more and more beautiful.

"And good evening to you, Theodosia." Philip said, barely containing his smile. Eliza grinned and clapped her hands together

"Alright everyone, shall we eat?" Everyone followed Eliza into the dining room. Somehow the table was able to seat everyone, with the eight Hamilton children, the one Burr child, and the three adults the dining room was quite crowded. Theodosia grabbed Philip by the arm and whispered in his ear

"I'm sorry I haven't been writing to you, if I can manage to get you alone tonight we can talk." A chill ran up Philip's spine when Theodosia put her lips that close to his ear. It made sense, people always say that they get chills when angels are nearby. Philip smiled and nodded in response to Theodosia. Right before they where about to begin eating Philip pulled his father aside.

"Remind me why we have invited the Burrs over for dinner?" He said in a low voice.

"Dinner is just an excuse to have Burr over, he and I both know we'll be debating later in the evening."

"Oh lord." Philip sighed "Try not to be to loud."

The rest of the dinner was painfully awkward. Besides a few words that where spoken by Eliza it was completely silent. Philip and Theodosia exchanged glances a few times, but that was it. When dinner had finally ended Alexander and Aaron made their way into the office and began taking, it was calm now but Philip knew it would escalate. Eliza was upstairs putting the little children to bed. Philip was downstairs building up the courage to talk to Theodosia.

"Would you like to come sit outside with me?" He asked her shyly. Theodosia smiled 

"Of course." Philip nodded his head and lead Theodosia out the door. Philip sat down and Theodosia took a seat beside him. 

"I'm truly sorry that I haven't gotten the chance to write to you, I've been busy."

"I understand." Philip said "What has been taking up your time?" Theodosia sighed 

"Many little things, but the big thing is that I now have a suitor."

"Oh really?" Philip tried his hardest to act suprised. "Do you like him?" He asked in an attempt to get information out of her.

"No." That made Philip feel better. "But I'll probably marry him anyway." That didn't.

"Why?"

"Because he has money." Theodosia's voice cracked. Philip jerked his head up to look at Theodoisa's face. She was crying. 

"Theo..." He said softly "Why are you upset?"

"I don't want to marry him." She cried. It broke Philip's heart to see her cry like this, it broke his heart more to know that she was going to have to marry someone that won't make her happy, Philip didn't care if she didn't marry him, he just wanted her to be happy.

"You don't have to marry him."

"Yes I do!" Theodosia said as she sniffled. Philip reluctantly put his arm around Theodosia, he relaxed when she leaned into him and continued crying. She was so beautiful, and Philip wanted nothing more than to dry her tears and hold her forever. If he could he would steal off into the night with her, he would take her to a place far away where she wouldn't have to marry somebody that she didn't love, where their parents weren't constantly fighting. Philip wanted to run away with her, but for now he simply stayed with his arm wrapped around her as he silently comforted her. Their moment of silence was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Philip turned around to see John standing in the doorway. John stared at Philip and Theodosia for atleast five seconds before he started giggling and shut the door.

"Crap." Philip mumbled. Theodosia sat up and wiped her tears 

"I need to get back inside." Theodosia rose to her feet, put on a smile, and walked back inside. Philip didn't know how she could constantly hide her emotions, he wanted to kill Aaron Burr for making Theodosia marry someone she didn't love. It pained Philip to see her cry, but part of him was happy that she felt comfortable showing her emotions to him. Philip went back inside and walked up to his room. He didn't stop thinking about Theodosia until he had fallen asleep, and even in sleep he dreamed about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In sorry if this was updated late.


	7. Saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip saves Theodosia from a man in an alley.

"Philip." Theodosia moaned before she wrapped her legs around him.

"Oh god, Theo..." Philip whined as he ran his hands over every inch of her body. He took Theodosia's chin in his hand a tilted it up so that they where looking in each others eyes, he placed his lips on hers as the two engaged in a passionate kiss. Philip kissed along her jawline and down her neck. Theodosia kissed Philip once again before she arched her back and-

Philip bolted upright as he gasped for air. What the hell kind of dream did he just have? His heart rate had accelerated, he was hot, and he was out of breath. Philip threw the blankets off of him, he looked down at himself only to discover that he was covered in sweat and some kind of... Oh god. Just when Philip was sure that the situation he was in couldn't get any worse, Angie burst through the door.

"Philip I need to-" Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped a little. At this point Philip's face was a bright shade of pink. "Holy shit." Angie burst out laughing. "Ohhhhh my god." She went silent for a moment because she was laughing so hysterically. "What are you? Thirteen?" She howeld with laughter. Philip was to embarrassed to say anything to her. Angie continued to tease Philip. "What where you dreaming about?" She nearly choked on her own laughter "Probably Theodoisa." Philip stared at the ground. He wouldn't admit it, but what Angie said was true. Angie was able to stop for a couple of seconds before she turned and ran down the stairs in a fit of laughter. Philip got up from his bed and slowly waddled over to the door, he quietly closed it. He didn't even know what to do with his sheets, he didn't know how to wash things, but he certainly wouldn't make his mother wash theese. He decided that he would just throw them out.

Once Philip had disposed of the sheets and gotten dressed, he realized the sun was only peaking over the horizon. After what Philip had just gone through, he could use a morning walk. Philip grabbed his coat and slipped it on, he told Angie to inform his mother that he had gone out on a walk if she where to wake up, Angie was only able to answer him with more laughter. Philip walked out the door and began to make his way into town.

Philip always enjoyed a nice walk in the morning, it was always so quiet. He loved hearing the wind blow and the birds sing their happy songs. He liked to go on morning walks to most when it was fall, the leaves where always so pretty, and he loved the feeling of the brisk autumn air against his skin. That day when Philip had been walking he got the privilege of watching the sunrise. After the sun had completely risen, Philip began to walk back to his household. He was about half way through his trek home when he heard a woman's voice.

"Stop it!" Philip stopped in his tracks, the voice was coming from the alleyway in front of him, he pressed his back up against the wall and continued to listen. "No! Get off!" She sounded like she was struggling "Stop! Please get off of me!" Philip had enough. He stepped out from behind the wall only to see Theodosia being pressed up against a wall by a man who had his hand half way up her skirt. Philip was infuriated. 

"Get the hell off of her!" He yelled as he charged the man in the alley. Philip's face was red with rage as he tackled the man to the ground. He turned the man over and pinned him down.

"What the fuck?!" Philip spat. The man squirmed in a weak attempt to escape Philip's grasp.

"I-I'm sorry I just-"

"No!" Philip cut him off "You're not sorry!" Philip tightened his grip "How dare you?! She clearly didn't want you doing that to her!"

"Come on..." The man tried to reason with Philip "Look at the way she's dressed. She was asking for it!" Philip didn't think it was humanly possible to get more enraged than he had been, but he proved himself wrong. His eyes went dark as he pulled his fist back and punched the man in the nose.

"Don't you ever fucking lay a hand on her again!" Philip screamed. He released the man and yelled "I better not see you ever again." As the man ran off into the distance. Philip watched him until he was out of sight before he looked up at Theodosia, his eyes full of worry. He hurried to his feet and bolted over to Theodosia, he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Oh my god. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay." He said with his arms still wrapped around her. Theodoisa hugged Philip back.

"I'm okay. Thank you for saving me." Philip let go of Theodosia and looked her in her eyes 

"Don't thank me for doing what's right." Philip looked at the ground "When your father finds out about this he's going to-"

"Don't." Theodosia interrupted him. He looked back up at her with a confused look on his face 

"Don't do what?"

"Tell anyone."

"What? Why?" Philip asked

"Please." Theodosia pleaded "Just don't tell anyone." Philip hesitated before he said

"If you wish."

"Thank you." Theodosia hugged him quickly before running off into the town. Philip would have been worried, but at this point, there where plenty of people that filled the town.

When Philip walked through the door the first thing he heard was his mother's concerned voice 

"Philip! You are absolutely filthy!" Philip looked up at his mother, he never thought of having to come up with a backup story.

"I just fell. I'm sorry." He said has he took off his coat and hung it up. Philip hurried to his room before anyone could notice anything else. Philip had been sitting in his room for only five minutes when Angie cracked his door open and poked her head in his room.

"Come in." Philip sighed. She slowly walked in his room and shut the door behind her.

"I noticed that your knuckles are red. Tell the truth. What really happened?" Philip contemplated weather he should tell Angie or not, he came to the conclusion that he could trust her not to say anything.

"I got into a fight."

"Of course you did." Angie said sarcasticly "What was it this time?" Philip averted his eyes from Angie's face.

"Someone assaulted Theodosia."

"Oh my god." Angie's eyes widened. Philip continued to stare at the ground as he said

"Some man had his hand shoved up her skirt even though she kept telling him to stop, so of course I beat the shit out of him."

"I see." Angie said softly as she got up and exited Philip's room. Philip sighed once Angie had left. Poor Theodosia. Between getting married to someone she doesn't love and getting assaulted by some asshole, Philip couldn't even begin to imagine what she might be going through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry for this cheesy ass chapter and it's cheesy ass title. I don't know if I should advance the plot and finish the story or put in more filler. I need you're opinions on this.


	8. A Walk In The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip runs into Theodosia while he's on an evening stroll.

Up in New York it was almost always cold. It would be coldest in the winter, then slowly the temperature would rise until fall came, then it would begin to drop. Spring days where often warm and sunny, but Spring nights would occasionally fall cold, especially if the Spring had just begun. The night Philip had decided to go on a walk through the park was one of the cold ones.

Philip had needed to get out of the house, he had been cooped up for far to long. He also needed to get his mind off a certain lady. Philip had exchanged many more letters with Theodosia Burr, nothing romantic had been said in any of them, it was mostly just talking about things that friends would often talk about. He had seen Theodosia in person a few times, he would see her walking through the city, looking at little shops as she passed them. Philip would sometimes be able to talk to her, but most of the time she was accompanied by her father, so all they could do was exchange glances and smiles. There would be times when Philip wanted to run up to Theodosia and say 

"I can't take it anymore." Then grab her by the waist and kiss her, but for some reason Philip couldn't bring himself to do it. He wouldn't want to ruin the friendship they had built.

Philip walked slowly around the park, taking in the sight of the trees and appreciating the crisp air. The sun was beginning to set and Philip was amazed by the beauty of the sky. He loved the way all the colours seemed to blend together. The purple, orange, and pink came together to make something beautiful, and sometimes Philip wished people could be like that. He wished that no matter what race a person was or what family they came from, they could all just get along, they could all blend together.

Philip was completely distracted by the sunset, that was until he noticed a girl standing only a few yards away from him, that girl was Theodosia.

"Hello Theodosia." He called out to her.

"Philip!" She squealed in delight as she ran towards him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Oof." Philip smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Theodosia pulled away from the hug as a wide smile spread across her face.

"I haven't seen you in such a long time!"

"I've missed your company." Philip smiled while he admired the beauty of her eyes.

"And I've missed your company! I have been enjoying the letters." Philip could begin to feel a slight blush rising to his cheeks. 

"Is your father suspicious of our friendship?" He said in a slightly lower voice.

"No." Theodosia giggled a little "I volunteered to go pick up our letters from the post office, I just hide the letters that you write to me inside my dress until I have the chance to read them. What about your father?"

"I don't think he's anymore suspicious than he used to be." Philip smiled a little "I just take the letters to the post office by myself, Angie gives the whole family their mail, she's agreed to keep quiet." Theodosia chuckled as she smoothed out her dress.

"This is so odd."

"What is?" Philip raised an eyebrow

"This secret friendship!" She laughed "I've read about romances being kept secret, but never in my life have I heard of two people having to keep a friendship secret." Philip sighed and looked at his feet

"I'm sure we're not the only ones."

"I've never heard of a secret friendship."

"That's the point of it being seceret." Philip chuckled along with Theodosia.

"You know Philip," Theodoisa smiled warmly "you're my best friend."

"And you're mine." Philip said happily. This was a bittersweet moment for him. It was sweet because he now knew that Theodosia valued their friendship so much that she would consider him her best friend. It was bitter because Theodoisa had made it quite clear that they where just friends.

A gust of wind blew over the park, Philip was perfectly fine, Theodosia on the other hand shivered.

"It's cold." She said as she hugged her self.

"Here, take my coat." Philip said while he slid off his coat. 

"Are you sure?"

"I insist you take my coat." Philip smiled as he held the coat closet to her.

"That's very kind of you." Theodosia took the coat and put it on. Philip smiled as the wind continued to blow. He didn't say anything, but wow was is cold. Philip looked to the sky, at this point it was dark out.

"I should probably be heading home now." Theodosia sighed.

"Should I walk you?" Philip asked

"That would be nice." Philip offered Theodosia his arm, she took it as they began to make their way to Theodosia's house. 

Philip and Theodosia walked the rest of the way home in complete silence. Philip knocked on Theodosia's front door, and surprisingly the person who answered it wasn't Aaron Burr.

"Good evening!" A charming young man said from the doorway. 

"Joseph!" Theodosia exclaimed in a suprised tone of voice. Philip's heart stopped. So this was Joseph Alston. So this was the man who Theodosia didn't love. So this was the bastard that was forcing Theodosia to marry him.

"Hello Theodosia!" He said.

"I didn't know you where coming to town?" Theodosia seems to force herself to chuckle. 

"Oh well... I'm here now!" Joseph then grabbed Theodosia by the waist and placed a rough kiss on her mouth. Theodoisa didn't respond to the kiss, she just stood there, eyes wide with shock and uneasy fear. Philip wanted to vomit. After Joseph let go of Theodosia he looked up at Philip.

"I see you've met my beutifull fiancé."

"Well..." Philip fake chuckled trying to hide his anger "She's not really your fiancé." 

"She will be soon."

"Okay." Philip mumbled. Theodosia briefly made eye contact with Philip before she spoke up 

"I need to go see my father. Goodbye Philip." She disappeared into the house. Joesph leaned on the doorframe and chucked.

"Woman are so complicated. For some reason she never seems to want to kiss me."

"Oh really?" Philip said as he began to get even more annoyed.

"Yeah! You know," he whispered "we haven't even made love yet, she keeps putting it off, she always says she's going to wait for our wedding night." Philip clenched his jaw, it took everything he had not to punch Joseph in the face.

"I have to go." He said before rushing off into the night. Philip began walking, he hated the fact that he had to leave Theodosia alone with Joseph. It was only when he had gotten half way home did he realize that he had never gotten his coat back from Theodosia. For some reason Philip found some comfort in knowing that she had his coat. Upon reaching his home, Philip stomped upstairs to his room. When his mother invited him downstairs for dinner, he told her he wasn't hungry. Seeing Joseph kiss Theodosia like that made Philip lose his appetite. He tired writing to get his mind off things, but no matter what he wrote about he somehow always found himself thinking about Theodosia, so eventually he had to just let himself think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I updated this so late. I procrastinated. Also thanks for the comments!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time Philip isn't the one who ends up sneaking out.

There was nothing Philip loved more than letting himself think. He would sit there for hours on end and let himself fall into deep thought. Philip would go on thinking until someone came and interrupted him, he would then find that he had been sitting in the same spot for hours, even though it had only felt like he had been thinking for fifteen minutes. Despite Philip's love to think, he still found himself trying to do anything but think. Philip had used up about twenty sheets of paper by now, he would write only a few lines at the top of the paper before crumpling it up and throwing it to the ground. He had tried about everything in order to get his mind off the events that had happend earlier that night. Before long Philip had caved in and once again, found him self thinking.

Philip slowly climbed into his bed, he sighed as he laid flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling. Philip hated the thought that Theodosia might be forced into a loveless marriage. He knew that back three hundred years ago women and men would would often have to marry eachother for power or wealth, but Philip honestly thought that the human race had begun to move past that kind of thing. Philip would look twoardes the future with hope, but then he would see people like his aunt, Angelica, who had to put up with a loveless marriage, then he would realize the word was still such a terrible place.

Philip let out another audible sigh as a rubbed his eyes, he rolled over so he was laying on his side. Philip couldn't bare the idea that Theodoisa would have to spend the rest of her life with that asshole named Joseph Alston. Philip had a deep distrust for Joseph, he didn't like the way he talked about Theodosia, he felt like Joseph disrespected her. Philip's mind would always race to the worst possible scenarios, like what if Joseph would hurt Theodoisa? What if he would mistreat her? What if Joseph would do things to Theodosia that Philip would never do? These thoughts would always seem to be looming over Philip.

Philip closed his eyes and pictured Theodosia. He pictured her in that emerald green dress she had been wearing when they first met. Even though she wasn't really there Philip was still overtaken by Theodosia's beauty. Philip took a deep breath before muttering the words 

"Mrs. Alston." Philip nearly vomited as he imagined Theodosia having to bear that name. Philip closed his eyes and was about to begin thinking again when he heard a faint knock at the door. Philip groaned as he slowly got up from his bed and walked towards the door. He swung the door open to to find his mother standing there.

"Yes mother?" He said groggily 

"Philip..." Eliza said as she stepped into his room "Are you sure you don't want to eat something?" Philip sat down on his bed once again, he couldn't eat, not now, not with the gut wrenching thoughts that had been clouding his mind.

"I'm sure." He said as he went and sat on the edge of his bed.

"This is your last chance to go and eat something tonight."

"I don't want to eat anything." Philip looked down at his feet.

"Philip, what's the matter?" Eliza asked with a soft yet concerned tone of voice.

"Nothing." Philip mumbled as he tried to distract himself by tapping his feet. Eliza slowly approached Philip and took a seat next to him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He said quietly.

"Okay." Eliza sighed "Well... I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight mom." Philip said without emotion.

"Goodnight Philip." Eliza said before she gave Philip a hug and quietly exited the room. Even after Eliza had left Philip's room he continued to look down at his feet. The house was now dead silent, he would often find himself awake so late at night that the house was silent. Philip wouldn't admit it, but he would still sometimes become afraid when he would hear noises coming from the house. He would always find comfort in knowing that a couple of his other siblings where probably awake and also scared. Philip knew that he wasn't the only one awake, it's just that every person who was awake thought they where the only one, therefor they where silent.

Philip would have stayed looking at his feet for the rest of the night if it weren't for a soft tapping on his window. Philip looked at the window in confusion, he slowly arose from his spot on the bed, he cautiously walked twoardes the window. Philip swung the window open, he looked down twoardes the ground to see the silhouette of a man. He was wearing an overcoat that seemed much to big for him. His pants seemed to fit well and he was wearing big saggy boots. The man looked up at Philip, it was only when the light hit the man's face did Philip realize that the man was Theodosia.

"Theo?" Philip asked in a low suprised voice "What in Gods name are you doing here?"

"I needed to come see you!" Theodosia said with a gleaming smile.

"Why?" Philip was getting more and more confused by the second.

"For the same reason you came to visit me that one night after the ball." She said as she began to climb the house "I didn't get to say a proper goodbye." Philip watched Theodosia as she quickly and quietly climbed up Philip's house and then jumped through the window, he was so wrapped up in the sight of her that he didn't realize he had a huge smile spreading across his face. Once Theodosia had entered his room, Philip shut the window and then turned to look at Theodosia.

"Would you mind telling me why you're wearing men's clothes?" He said with a chuckle.

"Well..." Theodosia said as she brushed some dirt from her pants "I can't climb a house in a dress, so I borrowed some of my fathers clothes."

"Be careful, my fathers going to smell the scent of Aaron Burr and then come into my room looking to fight him." At this Theodosia and Philip began laughing. After they had both recovered from their laughing fit, Theodosia smiled at Philip and said 

"I have good news!"

"Mind telling me?" Philip said with a smirk on his face.

"Something came up and Joseph had to go back home, he won't be able to marry me for atleast another six months."  
A huge smile came a cross Philip's face, this was the greatest news he had received in a while, this temporarily set all of Philip's worries aside.

"That's great!" Philip said with a little to much enthusiasm as he pulled Theodosia into a tight hug. Theodosia giggled as she hugged Philip back. Philip let go of Theodosia and looked down into her eyes, they where so beautiful.

"Enough about me." Theodosia said in a soft tone of voice "What about you?"

"I'm good. Things still get extremely intense when my mother and father are in the same room, but me and my siblings are getting along fine."

"That's nice to hear. You're very lucky to have siblings."

"I'm not lucky to have seven of them. It can get extremely loud, especially when the Lafayettes visit us from France."

"Ah yes, they can be extremely loud people."

"You've met the Lafayettes?" Philip amused as he raised an eyebrow.

"Why of course." Theodosia chuckled "Sometimes when father and I go visit the Jeffersons the Lafayettes are there."

"Oh" Philip said without emotion "I forgot the Lafayettes where friends with the Jeffersons."

"Philip, don't be so cross, just because you don't like the Jeffersons doesn't mean that the Lafayettes can't."

"I hate anybody who's last name is Jefferson."

"I'm sure you felt the same way about the Burrs."

"Theo..." Philip said as he realized how he had offended her "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't hurt my feelings." Theodosia said as another smile spread across her face.

"Good." Philip was relieved. He walkled twoardes his bed and sat down on the edge of it. "Would you like to come sit down?"

"I would." Theodosia said happily as she walked over to Philip and sat down next to him. She slowly ran her hand over the blankets "The blankets on this bed are so unbelievably soft." 

"I know." Philip smiled. Theodosia laid down on her back and squirmed under the covers, she sighed. It took everything Philip had in him not to sin. Philip looked twoardes the door, if one of his parents entered the room and found Theodosia burr laying in his bed, they would immediately assume the wrong things. Philip looked back twoardes Theodosia, she had fallen asleep. Philip was astounded that she had fallen asleep that fast, but then again it was extremely late at night. A warm smile spread across Philip's face as he took in the sight of Theodosia. She looked so peacefull as she slept. Philip could feel his eyelids getting heavier, he was begining to get far to tired to stay awake. Philip should have woken Theodosia up and told her that she needed to go back home, he should have known that it was a terrible idea to not wake her up, but at this point, he was to tired to think.

 

The next morning Philip awoke to find a warm body cuddled up against his chest. He sighed as he shifted in the spot where he had been laying, he fluttered his eyes open. Philip slowly began to register that he had his arms wrapped around a person. Philip yawned before he came to the relization that the person he had been cuddling with was Theodoisa Burr. He jerked his arms away from her in shock. Philip's eyes grew wide as he found him self at a loss for words.

"Oh shit." He said. Philip spent a couple more minutes deciding what to do, before he reluctantly touched Theodoisa's shoulder and shook her lightly. "Theodosia... Theo... Wake up." Theodosia sighed and rolled over

"Please could I just sleep for a little longer?"

"No... Theodosia, you need to go." Philip said nervously. Theodosia sat up and looked at Philip.

"Wha-" her eyes went wide as she realized what had happened "Oh my god. Oh what am I going to do? My fathers going to kill me!" She said frantically. Theodosia jumped out of Philip's bed and began to hyperventilate.

"Theodosia." Philip said as he put a hand on Theodosia's shoulder "You need to calm down if we're ever going to figure out how to get you back home"

"Okay." Theodosia took a couple of deep breaths.

"Alright, it's still pretty early in the day, so-" Philip was cut of by a loud knock at the door. "Stay here." He whispered to Theodosia. Philip got up and cracked open the door. He peered through the crack and was relived to find that it was Angie who had been knocking.

"Thank god Angie, I need your help."

"With what?"Angie said curiously.

"This." Philip quickly pulled Angie into his room before shutting the door. Angie's jaw dropped when she saw Theodosia.

"Holy shit."

"Angie, you need to make sure no one comes in here until I say so. Alright?"

"Alright." Angie said, still in shock.

"Okay, thanks." Philip said quickly before he pushed Angie out the door and shut it. Philip then turned twoardes Theodosia, who looked mortified. "I can't come with you, that would draw to much attention. Here," Philip said as he grabbed a hat from his floor "Wear this hat to cover your eyes with. It's still early in the morning so you should still be able to sneak in through your window and change into something else."

"Alright." Theodosia nodded as she put on Philip's hat. "Goodbye" Theodosia jumped out the window.

"Goodbye." Philip said before shutting the window, walking towards his door, and opening it.

"Is she gone?" Angie asked in a low voice.

"Yeah." Philip whispered. Angie stormed into Philip's room and shut the door.

"What the hell?!?" Angie asked with anger in her voice.

"What?" Philip asked.

"Did you two-"

"No." Philip cut Angie off as his cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.

"Are you crazy? You can't just let Theodosia spend the night here! What even happened?"

"She fell asleep and I didn't want to wake her up." Philip said quietly

"This is a new level of stupid." Angie spat "Next time something like this happens, I'm not going to help you out of it." Angie left Philip's room and slammed the door. Philip was left shocked at what his sister had said to him, but then again, he nor Theodosia had been caught, and that was a relief.


	10. Say Hi To The Jeffersons!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip is forced to sleep at the Burr household for the night, so are the Jeffersons.

"Angie..." Philip knocked softly on Angie's door "Angie!" He knocked harder this time. Philip knew for a fact that Angie was still angry at him for the events that had taken place that past Saturday. He had tried talking to her about it, and quite honestly he couldn't seem to understand why Angie was so upset with him.

"Angie, open the door." This time Philip didn't knock on the door at all "Please..." He was relived when he heard the heavy footsteps of his sister as she got up to open the door. Angie swung the door open and Philip smiled awkwardly as he saw the angry look on her face.

"What could you possibly want?" She said through gritted teeth. Philip took a deep breath and put both his hands at his sides

"I want to talk to you." Philip was relived by the fact that Angie had now adopted a look of genuine happiness on her face.

"Well I don't want to talk to you." It was only then did Philip realize Angie's look of happiness was only sarcasm. Angie had begun to shut the door before Philip stopped it

"Angie! Come on! You can't hold this grudge for ever!"

"Watch me." She glared at Philip.

"Angie!" He was now getting irritated "I'm not going to stop bothering you until you let me talk to you!"

"Fine." Angie grumbled "But make it quick." Philip smiled as he walked into Angie's room and sat down on one of her chairs. It was completely silent for only a few seconds before Philip spoke 

"Why are you still angry at me?" 

"Don't play dumb with me." Angie said, staring Philip in the eyes "You know exactly why I'm angry at you."

"I know why you became angry at me." Philip said while he folded his arms and adjusted in his chair. "What I don't know is why you're still angry at me."

"I'm angry at you because you've been acting like a real idiot recently. What's gotten into you?" Philip groaned and leaned his head back in his chair before mumbling the words 

"Theodosia Burr's gotten into me."

"Oh really?" A devilish smile spread across Angie's face "Or is is you that's gotten into Theodosia Burr." Philip's head snapped up at Angie's comment, he glared at her, having a look of anger and annoyance on his face.

"Shut up! You know damn well that we didn't do anything that night."

"I'm calling your bullshit." Angie said, reclining in her chair.

"It's not bullshit, Angie!" Philip was now begining to get angry, Angie knew how to press his buttons.

"Oh please, Philip." She rolled her eyes "She was wearing your clothes!"

"Allow me to explain this to you for the fifth time!" Philip's voice was now raised slightly "They weren't my clothes! Yes, they where men's clothes, but they sure as hell weren't mine! They where her fathers! She couldn't climb up to my window with a gown on so she put on her fathers clothes on! Why is it so hard for you to understand that?!"

"It just seems unrealistic." Angie shrugged her shoulders, Philip knew that doing that was her form of admitting defeat. "And why do you care if I'm angry at you?"

"Because..." Philip smirked and looked towards the ground. Angie's scowl quickly turned into a grin

"Say it." Philip remained silent, Angie leaned in a little bit "Say. It."

"I love you." Philip muttered.

"What was that?" Angie pretended not to hear him.

"I love you!" He laughed.

"Okay." Angie said as she pulled Philip into a quick hug. The two siblings stayed chuckling for a couple moments after the hug before Philip stood up to leave, but just as he was about to exit he turned to look at Angie once again.

"So are we made up?" 

"Yes" Angie said with a quick nod of her head and a smile.

 

Philip had been planning to get Angie to snap out of her grudge for a couple days now. He knew Angie, and he was certain that convincing her to stop being angry would take atleast a whole day, and when it only took fifteen minutes Philip had a whole day to fill.

Philip told his mother that he would be spending the rest of his day in the park. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on, and as he was headed out the door he caught a glimpse of his father, surrounded by papers, he really did seem to write a lot. For some reason Philip had managed to convince himself that he would be able to occupy himself for the rest of the day by simply going to the park. Needless to say, Philip had been wrong. He only spent about a half-hour in the park before his boredom overtook him and he had no other choice but to leave the park. Philip found himself wondering where to go next, he certainly didn't want to go home, he had spent far to much time there. Eventually Philip discovered that he still had some money in his coat pocket, this lead to him deciding that he would spend the remainder of his day in town.

About half way through the day it began to rain, Philip should have known to go home, but for some reason he kept on putting it off. That's how he found himself trying to make his way home through a heavy storm at nine o'clock at night. Philip could barely see anything, he was able to make out the shapes of buildings and passing carriages, but other than that he was blind. He continued to walk on, despite is clothes being soaked and him being cold. The howling winds made it impossible for him to hear anything, it was like he was completley consumed in the storm. Philip didn't even know where he was, that was until he heard a voice through the storm.

"Philip!" He didn't even know how he managed to hear anything through the crashing thunder and swirling wind. He thought his name being called was a simple figment of his imagination, but he heard it again, this time a little more clear.

"Philip!" Philip lifted his head, and somehow he was able to make out the image of Theodosia Burr standing on her front porch.

"Theodosia?" He called back "What are you doing out here?"

"I came out here because you're out here!" She said as she left her porch and ran up to Philip. He couldn't help but think that this was awfully romantic.

"You should go back inside! It's pouring." Even thoogh the two where now standing next to eachother they still had to shout to be heard.

"Only if you come with me." Theodosia smiled.

"What? Why?" Philip couldn't help but smile back.

"Like you said" Theodosia pointed at the sky "It's pouring! This storm is only going to get worse. It would be unsafe for you to walk all the way back home, especially at this time of night." 

"Alright." Philip gave into Theodosia "I'll stay, but only until the storm stops."

"Good!" Theodosia smiled before taking his hand and leading him to her house. It sent chills all up and down Philip's body when she held his hand, he wished she would hold his hand forever. Theodosia rushed into her house and slammed to door behind her. She looked at Philip and laughed

"That was exiting!"

"I agree." Philip nodded "You're soaking wet."

"Oh." Theodosia chuckled as she looked down at her brown dress "Thats quite alright, I can change, but you can't!"

"I'll be fine." Philip said with a smile. It looked as if Theodosia was about to say something else, but before she could, Aaron Burr stepped into the foyer. Philip blushed as he noticed that he and Theodosia where still holding hands.

"Theodosia, why is Philip Hamilton in our household, and... Why are you holding his hand?"

"Oh." Theodosia hastily dropped Philip's hand, seemingly just noticing that she had been holding it. "The storm's raging out there. I can't make him go home!"

"Theodosia, I will not allow a Hamilton to take refuge in my household." Philip wasn't about to let that slide

"Excuse you, but-"

"Shh!" Theodosia cut him off "Papa, please?" She looked at Aaron with big doe eyes.

"Fine." Aaron sighed "He can borrow some of my clothes if he wishes."

"Thank you, papa!" Theodosia said before rushing upstairs. Philip followed her to a rather small room, Theodosia handed him a small pile of dry clothes for him to wear. Philip smirked when he came to the realisation that they where the same clothes Theodosia had worn when she had gone to visit him.

"When you've changed come see me." Theodosia said before she left. Philip proceeded to peel the wet clothes off his body, he then put the dry clothes on, he felt much more comfortable. Philip exited his room and made his way down to Theodosia's room, the door was closed so he lightly knocked on it. When Theodosia opened the door Philip nearly gasped at how beautiful she was. She had changed into a light orange dress that brought her features.

"Hello Philip!" She said in a perfectly cherry voice "it's nice to see you here!"

"Um... Hi?" Philip said confused. She was acting so odd.

"Would you like to come inside?" Philip had had enough.

"Theo, what's the matter with-" he stopped talking once Theodosia had stepped out of the doorway to reveal Martha and Mary Jefferson sitting on the edge of Theodosia's bed. Philip suddenly realized why she had been acting so weird.

"Mary and Martha are visiting us for the week!" Theodosia said cheerfully, Philip didn't know how she could do that. It wasn't long before Philip came to realize something else 

"If they're here, does that mean-" Philip was cut off by an annoying voice coming from behind him.

"Well if it isn't Philip Hamilton."

"Hello Mr. Jefferson." Philip said through gritted teeth as he turned around to face Thomas Jefferson. A smug little grin spread across Thomas' face 

"I think you should leave."

"Is that really necessary?" Philip questioned, already extremely annoyed.

"Yes." Thomas sneered.

"And why is that?" Philip was trying his very best not to lash out.

"I don't trust you."

"Trust me with what?" Philip was now genuinely confused.

"My daughters." Philip's jaw dropped as he realized what Thomas had ment by that. Philip would rather be killed than be with one of Jefferson's daughters.

"Really?" Philip said, his voice raising a bit "Why?"

"Because Hamiltons can't seem to control them selves around women."

"What are you implying Mr. Jefferson?" Philip was now practically yelling.

"I just assume it runs in your family bloodlines. Your father can't seem to control himself, based on his most recent pamphlet." Thomas had just crossed a line. Philip was approximately three seconds away from punching the Vice President in the face.

"That's quite enough, Mr. Jefferson." Theodosia stoped whatever Philip was about to say "I think it's best you leave." Thomas left the room without saying another word. Philip was amazed by the fact that Theodosia had just dismissed the Vice President. Theodosia turned to look at Philip, her eyes filled with sorrow, Philip took the hint. He hastily left Theodosias room and made his way back to the room he would be sleeping in. 

Philip lie awake in his bed, listening to the roaring thunder, he had been like this for three hours now, and the house was silent. Philip was in deep thought, what broke him out of it was the sound of his door opening. He snapped his head up to find Theodosia quietly coming into his room.

"Hello Philip." She whispered with a smile

"Hello Theo." He smiled back. Theodosia tip-toed over to Philip and sat on the edge of his bed, Philip sat up so he could sit next to her.

"I'm so sorry about Mr. Jefferson's actions." She said sympathetically.

"Can we just call him asshole from now on?" Philip chuckled. Theodosia smiled and looked to the the floor

"No."

"Why?"

"Because he may be rude, but he is our Vice President."

"Don't remind me." Philip laughed. Theodosia began laughing as well as Philip.

"I won't. How have you been?"

"Quite good." Philip sighed "As you know from the letters I sent you, me and Angie got into a fight."

"Have you fixed that?"

"Yes. This morning actually, it only took fifteen minutes, I personally thought it would take the entire day."

"It often does with you Hamiltons." Theodosia chuckled a little.

"How have you been doing?"

"Fine. Joseph keeps on sending me love letters, they're terribly awkward, I wish he would stop."

"Want me to punch him for you?"

"What?" Theodosia said, seemingly startled. "No!"

"Really?" Philip laughed "Becuase I could, right in the face!" He said as he jokingly punched the air a few times.  
After Theodosia had finished laughing she turned to Philip.

"Why in Gods name would you punch Joseph Alston?"

"Becuase I love you." Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shitshitshit. What the hell was that? Philip panicked, he didn't know what he had been thinking, it just slipped out, he needed to cover that up quick. "I mean as a friend." Philip could cover up his feelings, but he couldn't cover up the bright red colouring of his cheeks. 

"In that case..." Theodosia said leaning into Philip "I love you too." Theodosia Burr had just told Philip that she loved him. Philip's heart was now gong a million miles per hour. At this point he didn't care weather it was romantic or not, she had just told Philip that she loved him. She loved him. It stayed quiet for a little longer before Theodosia yawned.

"You should go to bed." Philip said.

"You're probably right." Theodosia got up from her spot on the bed. "Goodnight Philip." She then quietly left the room and shut the door behind her. It didn't take long for Philip to fall asleep after she had left. Philip would often go to bed angry, he would have a scowl on his face upon drifting off to sleep, but tonight, he had a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for any spelling or grammar issues. I appreaciate all of your comments!


	11. Thank You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angie comforts Philip when she finds him crying in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I'm trying do decide weather or not I should tear your guys' hearts to shreds, you guys need to tell me what to do.

A single tear rolled down Philip's cheek as he sat in his dimly lit room. He ran his hands through his hair as he sniffled and tried his best to stop his crying. It was late at night, and the only source of light was a candle that sat on the edge of Philip's desk. Philip had been thinking too much, his mind was constantly flooded with thoughts of Theodosia, she was like a demon decended from the heavens, and Philip's love for her was like the most heavenly form of sin. He constantly felt tortured, Philip would see Theodosia walking in the street, and his heart would stop for a moment, everything around him would suddenly disappear. Whenever she would touch Philip, even the slightest brush of her shoulder against his, Philip would feel like flying. Whenever Philip was in Theodosia's presence he would feel so indescribably joyfull, it was as if time had suddenly slowed itself and taken it's time to appreaciate Theodosia's beauty. He would think that maybe, just maybe, Theodosia might feel the same way about him, and that maybe one day he would get the privilege of spending the rest of his life with her. But then time would speed up again, Philip would look around and see Theodosia's father, he would see his father, and he would see how much they hated eachother. And like leaves being carried away in the wind, his thoughts of happiness would blow away, and it was for that reason that Philip found himself crying alone in the middle of the night.

Philip slowly laid down on his bed, he lied there as he stared at the ceiling, crying. After what seemed like hours, Philip heard a soft knock coming from his door. He slowly stood up and walked to the door, his muscles feeling weak. Philip wiped the tears from his face, before opening the door slowly and quietly. There in the doorway, stood Angie in her cream colored nightgown. Philip didn't dare look her in the eyes.

"Philip, can I-" Angie must have noticed that Philip's eyes where red and puffy, becuase a look of worry came across her face as she softly placed her hand on his shoulder. "Hey... Are you crying?" Philip didn't want to say anything, he was to embarrassed to say anything. He simply squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, another tear rolled down his face. Philip walked over to his bed and sat down, Angie sat next to him. Philip knew that the look Angie had in her face was one of concern, and that she would simply wait next to him until he spoke.

"Angie..." He said as a couple more tears rolled down his face "I love her." His voice cracked "I love her so much and I just... I don't know what to do."

"I know." Angie said soothingly "It's alright."

"No it's not." Philip buried his face in his hands "She's a Burr and I'm a Hamilton. She doesn't even like me!"

"You don't know that."

"So what if she does?" Philip removed his face from his hands "She's going to get married.. And... Oh god! She's going to move away!"

"I'm sorry." Angie said, taking Philip's hand and sqeezing it.

"Oh Angie..." He said with a feeble smile "How my life would have changed if you hadn't dragged me to that ball."

"It's truly amazing that even the most small action can end up in something life changing."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For forcing me to attend that ball." Angie smiled and pulled Philip into a tight hug. Philip let go of Angie, before wiping his tears one last time. "Why'd you come in here in the first place?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow one of you candles."

"It's late, you just assumed I would be awake?"

"I know you, Philip." Philip chuckled, his face still stained with tears. 

"You can take this one." He said, reaching out to grab the candle that had been sitting on his desk. "I think I'm ready to sleep now."

"Okay." Angie smiled as she got up "Goodinght." She hugged Philip one last time before walking out the door. Philip sighed as he laid back down in his bed. Crying was quite a tiring thing to do, so he fell asleep rather quickly after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is such a short chapter, It was supposed to be a small chunk of another chapter that's coming up, but it turned out longer than it was supposed to be and I quite hosetly don't have the energy to write anymore. I'll have something else up soon.


	12. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip runs into Theodosia while he's out in the town.

"Come on guys!" Patrick exclaimed "You didn't see her so you won't understand it. She was just so beautiful!"

"Oh yeah?" Charles asked with a smirk playing at his lips "And what was her name again?" Patrick's smile fell for only a moment before he began laughing.

"I can't seem to remember!"

"Patrick..." Philip leaned up against a brick wall "You have serious commitment issues." Philip had known Patrick and Charles ever since he was thirteen years old. The three of them had met in school and where best friends up until they had to leave. Patrick had conveniently moved to the same place that Charles had moved, Maryland. It had been a year since all three of them had been in the same place at the same time. Charles family had needed to take a trip up to New York. Charles brought Patrick along with him, knowing they would get to see Philip. When they had seen eachother for the first time in a year it wasn't awkward at all, it was almost as if they had only had to separate a day ago.

"You're not one to talk." Charles said with a smile "You've never truly courted one girl and you're... Eighteen?"

"Nineteen!" Philip corrected him "And you're right, I haven't truly courted anybody."

"So don't go chastising Patrick for having 'commitment issues'" Charles turned to face Patrick "And don't think I'm defending you. You and Philip both need to get your act together."

"Come on! Don't be so hard on us!" Patrick pretended to be offended "Just because you act as if you're a saint doesn't mean that we should have to! We're not like you, Charlie."

"Alright. Alright. I'll take it easy." Charles chuckled "Also, don't call me Charlie, you know I absolutely loath that nickname."

"What ever pleases you..." A smug grin appeared on Patrick's face "Charlie."

"Screw you, Patrick." Charles gave Patrick a friendly shove before directing his attention twoardes Philip. "Well we've heard from Patrick, so what about you?"

"What about me?" Philip asked. He had been trying to avoid the question that he knew was going to be asked.

"Don't play dumb with me!" Charles smiled "Do you fancy anyone?" Philip could feel a slight blush rising in his cheeks as the picture of Theodosia Burr popped into his head. For a moment Philip considered telling his friends about how he was in love with Theodosia, but he soon realized that he couldn't risk anyone finding out that he was in love with a Burr. So Philip did what he had to do. He lied.

"Nope." Philip put on a huge fake smile.

"Are you sure?" Charles raised an eyebrow.

"Yes! I'm very sure."

"Whatever you say." Patrick had a sly smirk on his face. Philip knew that his friends where often able to tell when Philip was lying, and he was greatfull that his friends bought his lies this time. Philip was about to say something to change the subject, when out of the blue he recived an unexpected embrace. A look of suprise appeared on Philip's face as he looked down and realized that the person who had been hugging him was Theodosia.

"Theo!" He said while he wrapped his arms around her "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"And I didn't expect to see you here!" Theodosia chuckled as she let go of Philip, she then looked up at him with a huge radiant smile on her face. Philip's heart skipped a beat when he saw her smile, Theoeosia's smile would somehow seem to get even more beautiful everytime Philip laid eyes on her.

"Is your father here?" He asked in a more hushed tone of voice. Philip didn't notice that he was holding Theodosia's hands in his.

"Yes." Theodosia giggled. The cuteness of her laugh was almost too much for Philip to handle "He's in a nearby shop, so I'll have to go soon, but I haven't seen you in a week and I wanted to stop and say hello."

"Well hello then!" Philip couldn't help the grin that had spread cross his face.

"Hello!" Theodosia laughed "I see you've made some friends."

"Ah yes, we where good friends when we had gone to school together, they where in town so they came to visit me. This is Patrick." Philip looked at Patrick "And this is Charles." Philip looked twoardes Charles.

"It's very nice to meet you Patrick and Charles" Theodosia flashed a smile before turning to face Philip again "I haven't received any letters from you recently?"

"I do apologise. I've been very busy recently. I sent a letter out last night, so it should arrive today."

"Good!" Theodosia's attention turned to her father, who was walking out of a small shop. "Philip, I must be going now. You should really visit me sometime, you know I'm always up late. Goodbye Philip!"

"Goodbye Theodosia!" Philip said to her before she ran to her father. Philip watched her until she had dissapeared out of sight, he then turned to face Patrick and Charles, who now had huge smiles on there faces.

"Remind me of her name?" Charles questioned.

"Theodosia Burr."

"You know..." Charles said slyly as he took a few steps closer to Philip "I've known you to be a lot of things." He took a couple more steps "But I've never known you to be a..." Charles was now only inches away form Philip "Liar!"

"What?" Philip said with a confused tone of voice.

"You obviously fancy her!" Charles moved away from Philip and began laughing hysterically.

"I do not!" Philip crossed his arms.

"Yes you do!" Charles seemingly almost choked on his own laughter "I'm really sorry to inform you, but you're doing a terrible job at trying to hide it!"

"Hide what?! I don't fancy her." Patrick held his hands together and batted his eyes while in a very high pitched voice he said

"Oh Philip, do send me a letter!"

"Stop it!"

"Philip, my father can't know!" Patrick flamboyantly pressed the back of his hand to his forehead and fell into Charles' arms "Save me, Philip. Save me!"

"Shut up!" Philip was getting extremely irritated.

"Do come visit me." Patrick continued to taunt Philip "You know I'm always up late!"

"Yeah?" Charles asked as he pushed Patrick back to his feet "What was that about? Have you snuck out to go visit her in the middle of the night before?"

"Yes." Philip said bashfully as he felt his cheeks turn pink.

"Holy shit!" Patrick resumed laughing "Oh my god! Don't even try to deny it! You fancy Theodosia Burr!"

"And that's another thing." Charles restrained from laughing "You are a Hamilton and she's a Burr!"

"That sucks!" Patrick was now howling with laughter "Let's see how that turns out for you!"

"You're forgetting one vital fact." Philip pretended to be serious for a moment "I don't even fancy her!"

"Oh please, Philip." Charles rested a hand on Philip's shoulder "We can both see you getting all flustered. And I know Patrick is kind of a numbskull, so I get it if you won't listen to him, but take it from me, you fancy her. I can see the way that you look at her, with that glint of hopeless love in your eyes, but don't worry, she looks at you the same way." Charles then grabbed Patrick by the arm and began to walk away with him. Philip was left to think about what Charles had just said to him. Could there be a possibility that Theodosia felt the same way about him? He knew it was unlikely, but what Charles had said to Philip had made him think that maybe there was a chance. Philip's hope of ever being with Theodosia had been crushed by the fact that their fathers where political enemies. But because Charles had just spoken those words to Philip, his hope had been reignited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it may seem like this fanfiction is going absolutely nowhere, but I promise you that next chapter is the last chapter before the climax of the story.


	13. Family problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Philip finds his mother in a state of tears, he turns to Theodosia for comfort.

Philip had lost track of how long he had been sitting on the edge of his bed. It had to have been at least one o'clock in the morning. He didn't know if he had been sitting with his hands folded in his lap for one hour or three, frankly he didn't care. Philip used to have a well organized sleep schedule, early to bed and early to rise, but Theodosia along with The Reynolds Pamphlet had caused Philip to sleep late into the day and stay awake late into the night. It was never easy to escape the thought of Theodosia but it was harder to escape talk of The Reynolds Pamphlet, Philip wasn't even safe in his own room. He would constantly hear the fights his mother and his father would have. His only escape from his broken family where the letters that Theodosia would write to him, Philip would always be indescribably happy when ever he received a letter from Theodosia, yet it caused him such pain. His love for her was like the most heavenly form of sin, and Theodosia was like a demon sent from heaven. Patrick and Charles had been a good distraction from Theodosia, but they had been gone for a week, and Philip was left to drown in his own sorrow.

Philip groaned as he massaged his temples, he had developed a terrible headache. Philip got up from the spot where he had been sitting and aimlessly stumbled around his room for a couple minutes before he realized what he needed. He needed something to eat. Philip stumbled over to his door before slowly cracking it open and peering outside. No one was awake and the house was pitch black, for a moment Philip contemplated lighting a candle before deciding that it wasn't worth the effort. He walked through his door and, in his state of dizziness, nearly fell down the stairs. Once Philip had made it to the bottom of the staircase, he began to make his way to the kitchen, he felt his way around in the dark for a little while before hitting his foot on the edge of a chair.

"Ah shit." He mumbled as he clenched his eyes shut. After Philip had finished hopping around in circles he continued to search for something to eat. At last Philip had found his way to the kitchen and was now looking for the stew his mother had made earlier that night. By now Philip's eyes had adjusted to the dark and he was able to easily find the large pot in witch his mother had cooked the beef stew in. Philip lifted the lid off the pot and grabbed the ladle from the counter, he decided that it was okay to eat directly from the pot, after all he was alone and didn't have to be polite. Philip filled the ladle with stew and poured it into his mouth, the stew was ice cold at this point, but Philip was so hungry that he simply didn't care. He allowed for the cold liquid to slide down his throat as he felt his headache slowly disappearing, it was only then did he realize that he hadn't eaten in a day and a half. Once Philip had eaten his fill of soup, he began to make his way upstairs, he felt himself begin to get tired now that he had a full stomach. Philip was just about to enter his room and drift off to sleep, but he stopped in his tracks upon hearing quiet crying coming from his parent's room. Philip knew that it was inappropriate to walk into his parent's bedroom so late at night, but curiosity got the best of him and Philip ended up slowly opening the door and peering inside. There he saw his mother sitting on the edge of her bed, she was hunched over and had her hands in her face, and every couple seconds a quiet sob would wrack her body.

"Mom?" Philip said softly as he stepped inside in order to get a closer look at what was happening.

"Oh..." Eliza removed her face from her hands and smiled weakly at Philip "Philip, darling, what are you doing up so late at night?" Philip stopped and stared at his mother, her eyes where red and puffy and her face was stained with tears. What on earth had happened to her?

"Never mind that." Philip approached Eliza and took a seat next to her "Why are you crying?"

"Pay no mind to me." Eliza was now staring at her feet, seemingly trying to hold back tears "It doesn't matter why I'm crying."

"No, mother, it does matter. Please tell me what's wrong." Eliza kept her feeble smile for only a couple moments more before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

"Oh, Philip, I try so hard! I try to overlook the obvious, I try to ignore the fact that every where I go people stare at me and whisper about me, this family is broken and all the credit is due to a pamphlet! I can't do it anymore, I can't keep going on like this. God, I love your father so much and he treats me like a cheap whore."

"Shh, mother, it's alright." Philip wrapped his arms around Eliza. He tried to remain as calm as he could, he kept a straight face despite him being completely enraged. Eliza continued sobbing as she leaned into Philip.

"I tried to be the perfect wife. I was loyal and kind, I fixed meals for your father, I took care of the children, I respected his wishes, and he cheated on me and then told the entire world. I don't know what I did wrong."

"It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong." Philip cooed. 

"I feel as if I did something wrong."

"Well you didn't." Philip had enough. He hated nothing more than watching his mother cry like that. His father treated his mother like dirt sometimes, and Philip had quite enough of it. Philip had yelled at his father once before, after that he had learned to hold his tongue, he had built up a streak of not talking back to his parents, tonight he would be breaking that streak.

"Philip!" Eliza called after her son as he stomped down the stairs and burst into his fathers office. Philip stood in the doorway and looked at his sleeping father for a few moment before stomping in front of Alexander's desk and yelling

"Pops!" Alexander startled awake and looked up at Philip, seemingly oblivious to Philip's current anger.

"What's wrong?" Alexander mumbled while rubbing his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Philip stomped over to the other side of his fathers desk. "I'll tell you what's wrong!" Alexander's eyes widened as he was knocked out of his sleepy haze "Your wife is up in her room crying because you cheated on her and then told the entire world about it! What kind of jack ass does that?! She has given you everything! You are stubborn and loud mouthed and you're stupid too!" Philip felt the tears began to spill down his cheeks "You have torn this family apart! And what for? Why? I just want to know why?"

"Because..." Alexander began to sob as he fell out of his chair and onto his knees "I'm stupid! I did it because I'm stupid! Your mother is far too good for me. I don't deserve her, and I hate myself for doing what I did. I love her so much, and I know that I can't undo what what has been done, but what I can do is apologise, and I really do mean it." Alexander rose to his feet and placed his hand on Philip's shoulder "Please, Philip, forgive me." Philip's facial expression went soft for a split second as he saw the state his father was in, his eye bags where nearly black, his hair was a mess, and his face was now stained with tears. Philip tried his hardest to hate his father, but he simply couldn't bring himself to do it. Philip was about to forgive Alexander for what he had done, but then he remembered the state his mother was in because of Alexander.

"Don't touch me." Philip spat as he jerked his arm from Alexander's grasp "You brought this upon yourself." Philip stomped out of his fathers office. He walked out the door and collapsed onto the front porch, Philip let himself sob, he let himself cry. He had no where to go and no one to talk to, Philip was about to walk back into his house and cry some more before he remembered the one person he could turn to. Philip rose to his feet and began walking. He was going to visit Theodosia.

Philip shoved his hands into his coat pockets as he walked down the dark empty streets, he began to recall the very first time he made this walk to visit Theodosia, the first time it was freezing, but now that summer was nearly upon Philip the air was warmer. He also remembered how he had felt about Theodosia that night at the ball. Philip's memories would often fade away, but this memory stayed clear an vivid, almost as if it had just happened yesterday. Philip remembered how the light shown beautifully upon her brown skin, how her smile seemed to light up the entire room, and how her emerald green dress glistened as she danced across the ballroom with him. He felt a blush rising to his cheeks as he remembered how he had kissed her, Philip would forever regret that moment, it still embarrassed him even after everything that had happened. Philip felt so stupid, that night when he first saw Theodosia what he felt was nothing more than puppy love, but what he felt now was full on hopeless, helpless love. It pained Philip even more to know that even if he did confess his love for her, and even if Theodosia did love him back, her father would never approve of him, Philip always remembered what Theodosia had said to him the first time he went to visit her.

"The moment he finds a Hamilton on my balcony is the moment he kills a Hamilton."

Philip realized that he had been staring at his feet for almost the entirety of his walk. He lifted his head only to realize that none of his surroundings looked familiar. Philip, in his state of confusion, looked in circles for a few seconds before realizing that he had walked right past Theodosia's household.

"Shit." Philip mumbled under his breath as he turned around and began to walk towards Theodosia's house. This time he kept his head up. Once Philip made it to Theodosia's house he walked around the side of it and found his way to her balcony. He paced back an forth for a couple minutes, he didn't want Theodosia to see him messy and sobbing, but he soon realized that that he desperately needed to talk to someone, and Theodosia was kind and gentle. Philip picked up a few pebbles from a pile on the ground. He threw one pebble at Theodosia's balcony door, two, three, he was about to throw a fourth when Theodosia quietly opened her door and stepped out on the balcony. Philip couldn't help but smile at the way her face lit up when she saw him.

"Philip!" She whispered with a glowing smile on her face "Come up here!" Philip lifted himself into the balcony and brushed the dirt off his pants, he gazed towards the ground, for some reason he felt ashamed to be crying in the presence of Theodosia.

"Hello Theo." He barely managed to squeeze out without another sob wracking his body.

"Philip, it's so nice to see you I-" Theodosia froze and her eyes went wide, Philip blushed as he realized that Theodosia now knew that he was crying. Theodosia approached Philip and took his hands in hers. "Philip, what's the matter?" She said with that familiar soft tone of voice.

"Theodosia I..." Philip's voice cracked "I feel so weak crying in front of you."

"You have absolutely no reason to. It's always good to tell people how you feel."

"Oh Theo..." Philip allowed himself to sob once again as he collapsed onto Theodosia's balcony. Theodosia sunk to her knees as she wrapped her arms around Philip. "I don't know what to do, my family is broken, my parents are always fighting, and I love pops so much and I want to forgive him, but for some reason I cannot seem to."

"Shh, my dear." In Philip's state of tears, the fact that Theodosia had just called him 'my dear' flew right over his head. "Why can't you forgive your father?"

"B-because of what he did." Another sob wracked his body as he leaned into Theodosia.

"Philip, no matter what you do, Alexander his always going to be your father, it's okay to forgive him." Philip sniffled and lifted his head so that he was looking at Theodosia's face.

"I-I know." He mumbled and lowered his head once again. Theodosia took Philip's chin in her hand and lifted his head so that he was looking her in the eye.

"Philip, you're so young, you have so many years left to live. You cannot spend your life hung up on something. Yes, I understand that what your father did was terrible, but you need to forgive him. It's not going to be easy, but in order to make things better you must forgive your father for what he did." Theodosia lifted her hand and wiped the tears from Philip's face. A comforting warmth spread through Philip's body at Theodosia's touch. He glanced at her lips, for a moment he thought about kissing her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he simply smiled.

"Thank you, Theodosia."

"No need to thank me." Theodosia said with a warm smile on her face. Philip was about to say something else when he was interrupted by the sound of Theodosia's bedroom door swinging open.

"Theodosia? Where are you?" Came Aaron Burr's voice from inside her room. Philip's stomach dropped and the sound of Aaron's voice. Wide eyed, he looked up at Theodosia and silently asked her what to do. Theodosia frantically gestured towards the wall that was next to her balcony door. Philip scrambled to his feet and rushed to press his back against the wall. Once Philip was sufficiently hid Theodosia walked back inside her room and shut the door behind her.

"No need to worry, papa." Philip heard Theodosia's silky voice coming from inside her room. "I was only stargazing."

"This late at night?" Philip's heart began to beat faster.

"Well I couldn't fall asleep due to the fact that I slept late this morning."

"I thought I heard a mans voice?" Philip clenched his eyes shut and prepared to possibly be punched in the face by Aaron Burr.

"There's no man out there." Theodosia softly shut the door. All Philip could hear was muffled voices. After five more minutes of almost throwing up his stomach, Theodosia quietly re-opened her balcony door.

"Philip?" She whispered as she looked towards where Philip had been sitting.

"Has he gone, Theo?" Philip whispered, voice still shaky with fear.

"Yes." Theodosia smiled. Philip relaxed and moved himself away from the wall. "You'd better get going, I don't want to risk father finding you here."

"I understand." Philip nodded before he pulled Theodosia into a hug. "Goodbye Theo."

"Goodbye Philip." Philip let go of Theodosia despite him not wanting to. Philip jumped down from Theodosia's balcony and looked back at her one last time before beginning his trek home. Despite the brisk air, he was warm inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Theodosia walked into her room and quietly closed the balcony door behind her. She sat down on the edge of her bed, unable to wipe the smile off her face. She sighed as she sunk down onto her bed. She felt the warmth creeping up her toes as she crawled under the blankets. Part of her had wished that Philip would have stayed and talked with her the entire night. Theodosia's heart shattered into a million pieces when she had seen him in his state of tears, but part of her was glad that Philip felt he could trust her. Theodosia reached under her bed and pulled out a wrinkled up coat. The coat was Philip's, he had given it to Theodosia the night they had met in the park. She knew it was improper to keep it, but it smelled like him, and if she closed her eyes she could almost imagine that he was right there beside her. Theodosia curled up under the blanket and nuzzled her face into Philip's coat, and in this comforting state she was asleep before long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not having updated in a long ass time. I'll try to be better. Something came up and I had to take a break for a while.


	14. Food Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip gets sick after taking a dare from his younger brother, John.

The morning sun poured through Philip's window and glistened as it reflected off his shiny wooden bed post. Philip groaned as he rolled himself over. He could hear the chattering, and the clashing of pots and pans coming from downstairs, that's how he knew that it was about nine in the morning. The scent of freshly baked bread filled his nostrils as he yawned while stretching his arms. Philip sat up in his bed only to find that he was extremely dizzy, so he collapsed back onto his bed. He always loved the smell of food coming from downstairs when he awoke in the morning, but today it sickened him, for Philip's stomach hurt a great deal and he didn't know why. Philip acknowledged that he probably had caught the flu. He remembered back to when he was a child, he would always hope to get the flu in order to gain the opportunity to miss school, but as soon as he actually got it he would wish for nothing more than to be at school. There was nothing worse than the flu.

"Why me?" He groaned as he rolled out of bed and began stumbling across across his bedroom floor. Philip swung open his door and began his attempt to make his way to a pot that he could be sick in. He tried his best to ignore the unbearable stomach pain. Philip had nearly made it to his destination when the pain over took him and he fell to his knees and began to vomit all over the wooden floor. He felt the acid burning his throat and mouth as he gasped for breath between vomiting. Philip looked up to find his mother standing at the top of the stairs.

"Philip!" She exclaimed as she rushed to her sons side. Eliza placed a hand on Philip's forehead. Philip felt another hand on his back, he looked over and saw his father crouching next to him. It comforted Philip to know that both of his parents were by his side. He knew the only thing that could unite Alexander and Eliza were their children. Philip recalled back to when the pamphlet had just been released, Angie had fallen ill. Alexander and Eliza were both worried sick, they were both focused on keeping their daughter alive. They spoke with urgency and were brisk in doing things, and for the first time since the pamphlet was released they worked together.

"Philip, are you alright?" Alexander's voice filled Philip's ears. 

"Yeah." He mumbled as he began his attempt to rise to his feet.

"Slow down." Alexander slowly lowered Philip back to the floor.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Eliza said as she brushed the hair from Philip's face. "Stay here for a moment while I take your temperature." Eliza had already placed her hand on Philip's forehead so she lifted his shirt and pressed her hand to his back. Philip had always found it fascinating how his mother could tell if someone had the flu without using any type of thermometer.

"Do you think he has the flu?" Alexander spoke to Eliza with a concerned tone of voice.

"No." Eliza shook her head. "Philip, do you remember eating anything that could have caused this to happen?" It was only then that Philip remembered what he had done the night before. He had taken John for a walk around the time when the sun was setting. On their way back home, they had encountered a biscuit laying in the dirt next to the road. John had dared him to eat it. Because Philip wasn't one to back down from a dare, he ate the biscuit. He now realised that his decision to eat a biscuit lying in the dirt wasn't a wise one.

"I, um," Philip was a bit ashamed to be admitting his childish actions in front of his mother and father. "I ate a biscuit lying in the dirt when I was on my way back home with John." Eliza looked at Philip with disappointment in her eyes.

"It's most likely food poisoning then" Eliza said "Alexander, help the poor boy to bed while I clean this mess up."

"Mom," Philip protested "You don't have to clean this up. I should be the one-"

"You're sick, Philip." Eliza cut him off "You need rest." Philip opened his mouth to say something else but before he could say anything, Eliza turned around and walked back down the stairs. Alexander stood up and helped Philip to his feet. With the help of his father, Philip managed to make it back to his bed without collapsing again. Once Philip was lying down in his bed, Alexander pulled up a chair and sat down in it.

"Now tell me, Philip, what inspired you to eat a dirty biscuit?"

"John dared me to." Philip said groggily.

"I just assumed you would be wise enough to not take a dare from a small child." Only then did Philip realise how foolish his actions had been.

"You never back down from dares." Philip forced a smile.

"Try not to take after me." Alexander said with downcast eyes. "It won't end well for you." Philip and his father sat in a short moment of silence before Eliza walked through the door with a bucket. 

"Here you are, darling." Philip's mother approached him and set the bucket down next to his bed. 

"Thank you." Said Philip.

"Try to get some rest" Eliza brushed the hair form her sons face. "And if you need to be sick again, be sick in the bucket." Eliza and Alexander left Philip to be alone. Philip spent the next hour vomiting in his bucket and starring at the ceiling. His mother checked in on him from time to time, but even she knew that she could do nothing to help Philip, all he could do was wait. After about two hours Philip finally was able to fall asleep.

 

Philip next awoke to find his sister, Angie, sitting across from him. Philip had been dreaming of Theodosia. He sat up only to find that his stomach still hurt just as much as before.

"You were dreaming about her, weren't you?" Philip was only able to nod his head before leaning over and emptying his stomach into the bucket. 

"I can't believe I ate that biscuit." Philip groaned. Angie chuckled before saying 

"I suppose one could say that you're love sick." Philip shot Angie a sharp look before rolling his eyes and flipping over so he didn't have to look at her. "I waited a quarter-hour just to say that."

"What time is it?" Philip mumbled.

"It's about four o'clock in the afternoon." She replied. The two sibling sat in silence for a few minutes before Angie got up from where she had been seated. "Get rest, Philip, I love you." 

"I love you too." Philip mumbled as Angie exited his room. It didn't take long for Philip to fall back asleep after he and his sisters short encounter.

 

The morning sun poured through Philip's window as the sound of chatter, and clashing pots and pans, once again, filled Philip's ears. Yesterday's memories flooded Philip's mind as he prayed to God that he wasn't still sick. He reluctantly sat up, and to his joy, he felt as good as ever. Philip practically jumped out of bed, he quickly threw on some clothes before rushing down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"I take it you're feeling better." Eliza said with a bright smile on her face.

"Yes, mother." Philip returned her smile. 

"Would you like something to eat?"

"That would be nice." Philip sat down at the table while Eliza put a couple of sausages on a plate. Philip happily took the plate from his mothers hands and set it down in front of him. He was about to begin eating when he froze. What Philip saw sitting there on the table was a stack of letters. Ever since Philip had met Theodosia he had taken the letters to and from the house in order to hide the fact that she was sending him letters. Because Philip was sick, one of his siblings must have done it. It had been three days since Philip had sent Theodosia a letter, so there was a good chance that a letter from Theodosia was in that pile, and there was a good chance that one of his family members had discovered it. Philip ate the rest of his meal quickly before getting up and saying

"Thank you for the meal, mother. I'll be heading back upstairs." Philip had just began to walk back up to his room when Eliza stopped him by saying

"Before you go, Philip, there was a letter that came in for you today."

"Oh?" Philip tried his best to sound as clueless as possible. "From whom?"

"From Theodosia Burr." Eliza said while looking her son dead in the eye. Philip's stomach had now dropped into his feet. He was terrified. Philip tried his best to seem calm.

"I see." He stepped forward to retrieve his letter from the pile. Philip was reaching out to the pile when Eliza stepped in front of it.

"Might you have any idea why this young lady is sending you letters?" Eliza gave him that look. The look that she knew what Philip was hiding.

"I haven't the slightest idea why she has sent me a letter." Philip could feel his hands shaking. He had always been a good liar, but never to his mother. 

"Alright." Eliza said as she turned around and walked back to the plate of food she had cooked. He knew that she hadn't believed a word that had come out of his mouth. Philip grabbed the letter and rushed upstairs. Once he entered his room he slammed the door behind him, he could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest. Philip took a couple of deep breaths in order to calm himself down, he then carefully opened the letter. Philip could feel the blush rise to his cheeks as he read over the letter. He hadn't realised it, but a large and goofy smile had spread across his face. After reading the letter over at least four times, he was finally able to put it down. Philip couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Theodosia valued him enough to take the time to write these beautiful letters. He sometimes thought about what she might look like when she was writing these letters. Was she smiling? Was she frowning? No matter what facial expression she had, she would always be gorgeous in Philip's eyes. Philip placed the letter in a small wooden box where he kept all of the letters she had sent him. He considered writing back to her immediately, but he decided it would be a better idea to write back to her later that evening. Philip opened his door back up and walked down the stairs only to find his mother standing at the bottom of them.

"Go into town and buy us some food, dear." Eliza said as she handed Philip some money.

"Yes, mother." Philip nodded as he took the money and immediately walked out the door. Philip began to make his way down town with a smile on his face. He usually didn't like his trips to go get food, but this time he felt like he was walking on air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is super short, and doesn't contribute much to the plot, but I felt like you guys deserved something. The next chapter will be up soon.


	15. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Philip decides he needs some distractions ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is this one part were it's in first person, I couldn't figure out how to make it in italics so I just had to live with it. I just wanted to let you guys know.

Back a couple of months ago Philip would have shuddered at the mention of the name Burr, but now whenever he heard that name he would perk up in hopes that Theodosia would be mentioned. Philip yawned and stretched his arms. It was early morning and he had just gotten up. It was common for Philip to stay laying in bed for a while after getting up. Philip held his hand up to the light and examined the creases on it. The traced his finger over the thin lines that ran through his palms as he recalled the feeling of Theodosia’s hands in his. She was all he could ever think about. No matter how hard he tried to get his mind off her, there was always something there to remind him. From every mention of lace reminding him of the time he ran into Theodosia in town, to every sunset reminding him of the time they had stood in the park and watched the sun fall under the horizon, there was simply no escape from her.

“Philip?” Came a soft voice from his doorway. Philip looked up to find his mother poking her head in his door. 

“Yes, mother?” Philip smiled.

“Are you feeling alright?” Eliza asked.

“Of course.” Philip crinkled his brow in confusion. “Is there reason to believe I wouldn't?”

“Not really.” Eliza shook her head “I just wanted to be sure you hadn't eaten another dirty biscuit.”

“Mom,” Philip laughed “That was almost two weeks ago, and I've learned my lesson since then.”

“Alright then.” Eliza smiled before leaving and shutting the door. Philip stared at the door for a few seconds more before getting up and throwing on some old clothes. He considered going to eat something, but he decided that he wasn't really hungry. He still couldn't get his mind off Theodosia. Philip looked at the ground and began to doubt himself. He doubted himself in loving Theodosia the way he did. Philip was known to be quite the ladies man, and he hadn't so much as looked at another girl in months. Philip began to think,

What makes her so special? What makes her worthy of my time? I need to stop fooling around. I need to stop going against my nature. I'll stop trying to deny who I am. I'm a ladies man and I always will be. I don't need a ball and chain to hold me down. I’ll not clip my own wings. What would my peers say? What would my parents say? A Hamilton and a Burr? Impossible. This will leave you nothing but in tears. Theodosia will break your heart if you pursue her, she is a Burr after all. Never trust a Burr. Never in my life have I felt this way about someone, so why should I feel this way about her? I am a Hamilton and have much more important things to do than waste my time pining over some stupid girl.

Philip swung open his door and rushed down the stairs. 

“Where are you off to?” Asked Eliza.

“The park.” Philip responded as he walked through his front door and out onto his doorstep. Philip knew what he needed to get his mind of Theodosia, he needed a distraction.

 

Once Philip had made it to the park her began to take in his surroundings. There were people everywhere, specifically girls. Philip didn't even try to hide his intentions. He was going to find a girl, and he was going to distract himself with her, whatever that may have been. Philip looked around the park. He wanted a pretty girl to distract himself with. A girl with brown eyes would be nice, and dark curly hair, and soft skin. A clear image of Theodosia Burr was forming in Philips head, and before he knew it he was daydreaming about her again.

“Get yourself together.” Philip mumbled to himself as he snapped out of his daydream.

Before long Philip set his sights on a pale girl with blonde curly hair and pale blue eyes. She was exceptionally good looking. Most boys would've been nervous approaching a lady with looks such as hers, but not Philip. Philip had done this many times before. He puffed his chest out and walked right up to the girl.

“Good afternoon.” He said with a charming smile on his face, and a smooth voice.

“Hello.” The girl replied. Philip could see her cheeks turn pink.

“What might a fine lady such as yourself be doing in a place such as this?” Philip effortlessly leaned up against a tree.

“Oh, I was just going for a walk.” The girl replied bashfully.

“I'd consider myself lucky to run into such a beautiful young lady.” Philip moved closer to her. “And what might your name be?”

“Joanna Smith.” She smiled. “What’s your name?”

“Philip Hamilton.” Philip could see the girl's eyes widen as she realized who he was. He could also tell that she knew of his intentions and was seemingly ready to go along with what he had in mind.

“Nice to meet you, Philip.” She said in a far more seductive tone than she had been speaking in before.

“I must say, Joanne, you look absolutely lovely.” Philip moved his face closer to hers.

“I'm not as lovely as you are handsome.” Joanne began to bat her large doe eyes.

“As well as that dress suits you,” Philip wrapped his arm around her waist. “I’m quite sure you would look far lovelier without it.”

“I'd have to agree.” She purred. Before Joanne could say anything more, Philip pulled her up against him and pressed his lips to hers. Joanne slowly draped her arms around his neck and leaned into the kiss. Philip hadn't felt the feeling of a lady’s lips on his in such a long time. He was almost animal like when he kissed Joanne, as if he could have ripped her dress off right there. Philip was almost completely overtaken by Joanne's soft curves, but then then she broke the kiss. Joanne smiled. Philip looked at her, she didn't have those beautiful brown eyes, she didn't have that lovely brown skin, she didn't have dark curly hair, and her smile didn't give him butterflies. She wasn't Theodosia. Philip didn't love her. What he was doing was wrong, and he knew that. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Theodosia sat under the shade of a large oak tree. She sighed as she turned her book to the next page. Theodosia had been reading Common Sense for the second time in a row. She knew for a fact that her father didn't like it, but even she broke the rules sometimes. Often Theodosia would steal away into the park to read a book without her father commenting on it. She knew that her father only wanted the best for her, but she couldn’t help getting annoyed at him sometimes. Theodosia was having trouble focusing on her reading at that moment. She would be reading just fine, and then without even realizing she would find herself daydreaming about Philip once more. Theodosia would somehow always end up envisioning his beaming smile, his thick curly hair, his kind eyes, and most of all his freckles. Philip’s face was covered in freckles, and Theodosia thought they were absolutely adorable. She often daydreamed about laying down in a large field with Philip and counting his freckles as if they were stars in the sky. 

Theodosia glanced up from her book when she saw something that brought a smile to her face. Philip. Instantly her stomach was filled with butterflies. Theodosia contemplated saying hello to Philip, but she decided to wait and see if he would notice her, and if he didn't then she would say hello. Theodosia watched as Philip rose to his feet and began walking towards her, but to her surprise Philip walked right past the tree as if he hadn’t even seen her. Out of curiosity, Theodosia stood up to go and see what Philip had his mind set on doing. To her surprise Philip was walking over to a girl. At first Theodosia thought the girl might have been a friend of Philip’s, but when she saw Philip wrap his arms around the girl's waist, her stomach dropped. Despite everything within her telling her to stop, Theodosia continued watching. She now assumed that the girl with Philip was more than just a friend. Theodosia’s racing heart stopped when she saw something that she hoped she would never have to see. She watched as Philip pulled the girl into a kiss. She watched as the girl put her arms around him. She saw how passionate the kiss was. Philip was almost like an animal. Theodosia turned around so she didn't have to watch anymore. Fighting tears, she clenched her book in her hands.

He was never mine to lose.

She told herself over and over. In her moment of shock and sadness, Theodisa began to take herself for a fool. The voices in her head had always told her how foolish the notion was that a Hamilton and a Burr could ever live happily ever after, and now she was beginning to listen to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I-I have to go.” Philip stuttered as he stumbled away from Joanne.

“What?” She asked as the smile fell from her face “Why?”

“I, um,” Philip continued to back away “I forgot I have to be somewhere.”

“Oh.” Joanne said softly “Perhaps we’ll meet in another time.”

“Perhaps.” Philip said as he turned around and almost broke into a sprint. His heart was racing. He wished he could take back everything he did. He felt so dirty. He felt wrong. Philip didn’t look back at Joanne once. He was staring at the ground when he collided into someone. Philip looked up to find the person he had crashed into was Theodosia Burr. He felt an odd mixture of happiness and guilt, as if he had cheated on her, yet he still smiled.

“Hello Theo!” Theodosia turned around. Philip’s expression of happiness fell from his face upon seeing the light tears streaming down her face. “What’s wrong?” He asked worriedly.

“You have the nerve to talk to me?” Theodosia spat.

“What?” Philip said softly.

“Philip Hamilton,” Philip saw Theodosia ball her fists up “you have caused me nothing but pain.” Philip was confused. “Ever since I met you, you have caused me pain, and you have caused my father to become suspicious of me. Everytime I lay eyes on you I am pained, yet I was drawn to you like a moth is drawn to a flame. It was as if I was walking on air, yet I could feel the hot coals of hell below my feet. I wish I had never met you. I am not your friend, Philip. In fact, I hate you.” Theodosia began to cry even harder as she sunk to the ground.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Philip said, now fighting tears of his own. He noticed others watching them as he attempted to comfort Theodosia, but he didn’t care. “If you could just tell me what's wrong, I-”

“Go.” Theodosia managed to say through her tears. 

“Theodosia-”

“Now!” Philip stumbled to his feet and began to walk away. He continued to glance back at Theodosia, and every time he did she was still on the ground crying. Philip normally enjoyed taking in the sights of the city on his walks home, but this time he was to preoccupied with trying not to cry to look at any of his surroundings.

Philip stumbled through his front door, and as soon as he shut it behind him he allowed himself to cry.

“Philip!” Eliza exclaimed as she rushed towards him. “Are you alright?”

“N-No.” Philip said through staggered sobs. Before he knew it Alexander was by his side as well as his mother. Philip now had one parent on each side of him.

“What’s the matter?” Alexander asked with urgency “Did someone hurt you?” No one had physically harmed Philip, but Theodosia had killed his soul.

“I-I love her so much.” Philip said as another sob wracked his body.

“Love who so much?” Eliza asked.

“And she just told me she hates me.”

“Who told you she hates you?” Alexander seemed just as curious as Eliza.

“I don't know what I did wrong.” Philip was a wreck. “Sh-She just said that she hates me.”

“Who?” Alexander asked once more. Philip took a deep breath in before opening his mouth and saying the words,

“Theodosia Burr.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me Lord for I have sinned. I know I haven't updated in eons because I continued to procrastinate. I'm sorry.


	16. Chapter 16

“What?” Alexander said in complete shock.

“You heard me.” Philip groaned as he immediately regretted his decision to admit his feelings for Theodosia.

“You are in love with Theodosia Burr?” Alexander asked, still in shock.

“Yes.” Philip buried his tear soaked face in his hands.

“Does she know of your feelings?” Eliza wrapped her arms around her son. “Oh, Philip, please don’t tell me you’ve been having an affair with Aaron Burr’s daughter.”

“I assure you that I haven’t.” Eliza seemed to calm down a bit after hearing this. “As far as I know she doesn’t share my feelings. We have been maintaining a close friendship however.”

“How long has this been going on?” Alexander continued to question Philip.

“Remember when I went with Angie to that ball a while ago?” Philip removed his face from his hands to look at his father.

“Yes.” Alexander nodded.

“I saw her there.” Philip almost began to cry again. “I was overtaken by her radiant beauty. She and I danced. Then later that same night I snuck out to see her.” Philip decided against telling his parents that he had attempted to kiss her. “We talked for a while about books and things like that, and it turns out that not everyone with the name Burr acts like Aaron Burr. She’s extremely intelligent. I’ve seen her collection of books, and she takes the time out of her day to read about many interesting things such as politics. She read Common Sense, like aunt Angelica. She knows so much about the happenings of the world. You see, she has opinions, she was just raised to be lady like. Pops, it turns out whenever you and Burr fight at his house, you have someone listening in on you. She obtains as much knowledge as she can. Everytime I see her or even think of her, I can’t help but smile. It started out as puppy love, and then it began to grow, and it didn’t stop. She and I would write each other. At Least twice a week I would be sending letters. I started getting the mail for the family in order to hide it. All the times you commented on my suspicious behavior I would make up an excuse, but it was almost always Theodosia. Her and I continued to write. We had a secret friendship that we maintained through writing and sneaking out. I held her when she cried, and she held me when I cried. She listened to me, and I listened to her. The whole time she had no idea how much I loved her.”

“Does her father know about this?” Eliza asked.

“No.” Philip shook his head. “He wouldn’t have allowed her to talk to me.” Philip could tell both his mother and father were doing their best to remain calm. He didn't blame them for not being very supportive. After all, he would be upset too if he found out his son was head over heals in love with his enemy's daughter. 

“Have you any idea what made her say the things she said to you today?” Alexander leaned down so he could look at Philip’s face.

“No.” Philip said once again.

“I’m so sorry.” Eliza cooed. “It must be hard for you.”

“I tried to talk to her.” Philip held back more tears. “All she did was shoo me off.” Eliza sighed before holding Philip in a tight embrace. He and his parents sat in silence for a few moments more before he looked up at the both of them and said,

“Well aren’t you going to tell me I can’t see her again?”

“No.” Alexander assured him. “It’s going to make politics ten times more chaotic if anyone ever finds out about this, but if anyone knows one can’t help who they end up falling in love with, it’s me.” Philip sensed a hint of longing and remembrance in his father’s voice.

“What do you mean by that?” Philip questioned out of curiosity. 

“That’s a story of another time.” Eliza prevented Alexander from saying anything more. Philip would have continued to question his parents, but he was far too upset over Theodosia. 

“Why don’t you get some rest?” Alexander helped Philip to his feet. 

“That sounds like a good idea.” Philip noded. Philip hugged his parents goodnight before drearily making his way up the stairs. Philip collapsed onto his bed and nestled under the blankets. Philip was glad his parents hadn’t forbade him from talking to Theodosia, but that didn't change what she had said to him at the park. Philip buried his face in this pillow and allowed himself to cry once more. Unlike before, his tears were quiet and soft. 

“Philip?” He looked up to find Angie standing in his doorway.

“Make yourself at home.” Philip mumbled as he sat up in his bed. “I assume you heard what happened down there?”

“I can’t believe you told them.” Philip took that as a yes.

“I can't either.” He ran his hands through his hair and stared at the ground.

“What happened? I mean, what did Theodosia do to you?” Angie asked.

“She said a bunch of things. One of which was a declaration of hatred towards me.” Replied Philip.

“Why would she say all those things? You two always maintained such a close friendship.” 

“I… Honestly, Angie, I don't know. I've gone over every possibility and I just don't know.” Philip sighed and tried to keep from sobbing again.

“She never seemed upset at you, but who's to say she wasn't hiding it? She is a Burr after all.” Philip could tell Angie didn't mean to upset him by that, but that didn't stop him from getting irritated at yet another person judging Theodosia by her last name.

“Angie, don't.” Philip glared at his sister.

“Sorry.” She mumbled as she looked towards the ground.

“It's okay.” Philip looked up at her. “Would you mind letting me have some time alone?”

“Sure thing.” Angie nodded before getting up and leaving Philip's room. After the door was shut, Philip layed back down in his bed. He wanted to make things right with Theodisa, but he hadn’t the slightest idea how. The thought of losing Theodosia terrified him. Looking back on his life, he couldn’t recall any girl that would make him feel the way he did when he saw Theodosia. No matter what Philip did, he couldn’t make Theodosia love him, or even befriend him again, and he hated that. Philip began to drift off into sleep, and even in sleep the pain he felt weighed heavy upon his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this ones short! Thanks for reading and commenting!


	17. Forgiveness

Two weeks. That's how long it had been since Philip had last seen, or talked to Theodosia. People had always told Philip that with time even the nastiest wounds would heal. Maybe Philip hadn't given it enough time, or maybe his wounds were simply far too deep to be stitched together with the threads of time. Philip had done everything within his power to distract himself, but with every step he took he was reminded of Theodosia. He was reminded of her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes glistened in the sunlight, and the way her hair fell over her shoulders. Without Theodosia Philip felt completely empty. Some part of him even felt a little abandoned. Philip felt that he had gone completely mad. His parents tried to console him, telling them that what he was feeling was love, not insanity. But Philip knew love was a type of insanity in itself.

“Philip, why don't you go into town?” Eliza stood in the doorway holding a sleeping John on her hip. She opened her mouth once more, seemingly wanting to say something else, but all that came out was, “Please.”

“Why?” Philip said from his bed.

“I think it would be good for you to do something. You know, to get your mind off things.” Eliza approached the bed and sat down next to Philip. 

“Why do you care?” Philip groggily spoke as he sat up.

“Because,” Eliza placed her hand on Philip's. “I worry about you. I want you to be happy, and right now it's clear to see you're not.”

“Alright.” Philip sighed.

“So you'll go and do something?” Eliza asked.

“Yes.” Said Philip with a nod of his head. Eliza smiled before getting up to leave. Philip then rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes. The clothes he wore didn't match, and they didn't look good at all. Philip thought it futile to dress nicely when he had lost his reason to. Once he was dressed Philip made his way down the stairs.

“Good morning, Philip.” Alexander said upon seeing his son arrive down the stairs.

“Morning, pops.” Philip offered Alexander a weak smile before walking past him and out the front door. Philip had absolutely no intentions of doing anything while in town. In fact, he didn't even have any money with him. He acknowledged that going into town wouldn't make him feel better, but he didn't want his mother to worry, so he did it anyway.

Once Philip had made it into town his new objective was to find something to pass the time. He wandered around for a bit before a book store caught his eye. Philip smiled at the man standing by the door before entering the small shop. He perused through the books that were sold there for a little while. He ran his fingers over each one of them. Philip couldn't help but smile upon seeing that The Federalist Papers were being sold. He would have bought them if it weren't for the fact that he had already read them. Philip had always enjoyed reading, but The Federalist Papers were extremely difficult to complete. He picked up the book and fingered through it before putting it back down. Philip looked up from the row of books he had been looking at. He gazed across the aisles of books when he saw something that made his mouth run dry. There, across the room, stood Theodosia. She was holding a book and gently flipping through it. This was the first time Philip had seen her since she had announced her hatred for him. Astonished, Philip turned away. He didn't want to seem like he missed her, so he grabbed a random book and began flipping through it. Despite every part of him telling him not to look back up, he did anyway, and this time Theodosia was looking back. Philip felt his cheeks burn red as they made eye contact. It was only for a brief moment, but to Philip it felt like an eternity. He wasn't sure if he should say something to her her not. Philip usually had a way with words, he was normally able to be extremely smooth and well mannered. But this time Philip was completely flustered. He was so embarrassed at the moment that he didn't even take the time to read Theodosia’s facial expressions. Philip hastily put the book back on the shelf and rushed out of the store. As soon as Philip had made it to the safety of the streets he began to walk home. He wanted to get away from where he had been as quickly as possible, but running would draw too much attention, so he stuck with a hasty speed walk all the way home.

“Philip!” William squealed from the foyer floor upon seeing Philip walk through the door.

“Hello, William.” Philip nodded at his brother before attempting to run up the stairs and into his room.

“Philip!” Eliza stopped him as she leaned down and picked William off the floor. “How was your trip into town?”

“It was good.” Philip said quickly before rushing upstairs. Philip ran into his room and nearly slammed the door behind him. His room was plagued with silence and all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. Still blushing, Philip sat down at his desk and pulled open the bottom drawer. Out of the drawer he took out a small box. He then reached to the top of his desk and groped around until his fingers landed on a small silver key. Philip took the key and with it unlocked the box. Once the box had been opened he took from it the many letters that Theodosia had written to him. One by one, Philip read each of them. From the first letter to the last Philip read every single word. It didn't make sense to him. None of it made sense. Up to the very last letter Theodosia’s words had been seemingly filled with happiness. Philip was searching in every word she had written for some sort of sign as to why she would have done such a thing. But no matter how many times he read them over her couldn't find anything. Philip put the letters down, and with one swift motion he lit a match. Hands shaky, he picked up the first letter Theodosia had sent to him. Philip thought that doing what his mother had done would help relieve him of his pain. If he burned her letters like Eliza had burned Alexander's somehow he would feel better. The flame was only inches from the paper when Philip quickly put the letter back in the box and shut the lid. He couldn't bring himself to burn the letters. He couldn't let go of the memories.

 

After the little incident at the bookstore, Philip spent all day in his room writing angst ridden love poems. It was very late at night when he decided to leave his room and go downstairs. Philip didn't have any specific intentions, he simply wished to do something besides staying curled up in his room for any longer. Philip paced around the living room for a while before moving on to the dining room. As he passed the office he looked up, expecting to see his father either sleeping or working at his desk. Much to Philip's surprise, he found that the office was empty. He wondered where his father might have been but that thought didn't bother him that much. For no particular reason, Philip slowly opened the opened the office door so it was wide enough that he could get inside. He creeped into the office and softly sat down in the chair that was by the desk. Philip found it funny that one day he would most likely be working at a desk. He had always just assumed he would take after his father. Philip began snooping around the desk. He opened drawers and dug through their contents. It wasn't long before he found a wooden box, it was only a bit larger than the one he kept Theodosia's letters in, and it had absolutely beautiful designs carved into the sides. Just for the hell of it, Philip, opened the box to find that it was completely jammed full of letters. He pulled out and random letter from the centre of the box. It only took one glance at the letter to realize that they were from John Laurens. Philip had remembered his father speaking of John Laurens. The words that had been spoken of him were always very fond. Eliza had told Philip that after Laurens died, a part of Alexander was shut off forever. Philip had never seen him, for Laurens passed when he was still very young. Alexander had a best friend in John Laurens, and Philip had been curious to find out what their friendship had been like.

Philip knew it was impolite to read other people's letters, but that didn't stop him from slowly unfolding the letter in his hands and reading it. The letter mostly consisted of banter about the war, but Philip still found it interesting. Letter after letter Philip began piecing together what Alexander and John’s friendship was like. He was halfway through reading one of the letters when he saw something that took him by surprise. What John had written was out of the ordinary, shocking, it was… Gay. Like really gay. Philip put the letter down and picked up another. And once again the letter’s contents were gay. John spoke as if he was a jealous lover, and Philip was beginning to think that he was. The things John had written to Alexander were no doubt romantic. He spoke of love and his discontent with Alexander being married. Philip didn’t want to believe that his father was attracted to men. He kept telling himself that these feelings of affection couldn't have been mutual. But the next letter Philip read confirmed that his father felt the same way about John. The next letter Philip picked up was even a little graphic. He almost vomited upon seeing the date in which this letter was written. Alexander was already married to Eliza. So not only was Alexander cheating, he was cheating with a man? Philip was so shocked by his findings that he hadn’t noticed how his eyes had gone wide and how is jaw was dropped. Before Philip could put the letter back, he heard someone enter the room. He recognised those heavy footsteps as his father's.

“What are you-” Philip swiftly put the letter back into the box, but not before Alexander could take sight of what he had been reading. “Philip, you should not have read those.” Alexander said with a now shaky voice.

“Pardon my French, pops,” At this point Philip was more than just shocked, he wanted answers. And he wanted them now. “but what the fuck?”

“Philip, I… I don't know what to say.” Alexander stuttered.

“That is such bullcrap!” Philip said, now getting angry. “I can't believe this- I can't believe you! You and John Laurens- Holy shit. You and him were… Romantically involved?”

“Yes.” Alexander said. His voice was filled with a certain pleading. As if he was almost begging Philip for forgiveness. 

“I cannot believe this.” Philip groaned.

“I'm sorry.” Alexander whispered, almost like he couldn't bare to talk at all. Philips face scrunched up in disgust as he realized something else.

“Did you two ever… You know?”

“Yes.” Alexander looked at the ground uncomfortably and began fidgeting.

“Oh my god.” Philip threw his head back so he wouldn't have to look at his father. “How does that even work?”

“Buttholes.” Philip immediately regretted asking the question. He would rather drop dead than listen to what his father was saying at the moment. “And mouths sometimes.”

“Christ on a cross.” Philip said with disappointment. He buried his face in his hands, hoping that doing so would remove from his mind the image of his father sucking John Laurens’ dick.

“I’ll just stop talking now.” Alexander said with haste.

“So you cheated on mom more than once?” Philip asked even though he already knew that question’s answer.

“Yes, but I’m really sorry, I never meant to-”

“You dick!” Philip exclaimed.

“Now, Philip, I will not tolerate you speaking to me that way. I am your father and-”

“Alright, I’ll give you that.” Philip arose from his chair. “You are my father, but you are also a man who cheated on his wife. Twice!”

“I’m so sorry…” Alexander's voice cracked once again.

“And with a man?” Philip was now talking to Alexander as if he was a child.

“Philip, I couldn’t help who I fell in love with. People… they just can’t control that kind of stuff. And before you say it, I know it wasn’t anyones fault but mine to act upon my feelings for John. But I couldn’t help falling in love with him. It was just out of my hands. When I fell in love with John, he wasn’t a boy or a girl or anything in between, at least not to me he wasn't. To me he was kind, he was loving and sweet. I fell in love with him because of him… That’s just how some people are, Philip. I know you might not understand. Take you and Theodosia for example. You didn’t chose to fall in love with her, you just… Did. When falling in love with her, you didn't see her last name, you only saw her. I fell in love with John for the way he was, just like you did with Theodosia.” Alexander was looking directly into Philip’s eyes. “I made mistakes. Huge mistakes. But I will never stop loving your mother, and will will never stop loving you. Please, Philip, forgive me. Please.” 

Philip opened his mouth to say something, but all he could do was throw himself into a tight hug with his father.

“I love you.” Philip cried into his father's shoulder as they embraced.

“I love you too.” Alexander held Philip tighter has a short sob escaped his lips. For the first time in a long time, they were both completely vulnerable. At last, Alexander had been forgiven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so super obvious references to Burn. Also shout out to that one guy who commented on my last chapter calling out my reference to Laurens, you were right. And also had no idea what a storm of Lams was coming.


	18. Make Me Proud, Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT 
> 
> THIS IS NOT THE END

Smile more. Two words that Philip Hamilton would always associate with Aaron Burr. From what his father had told him it was one of the first things that Aaron had told Alexander when they met for the first time. Philip had grown up in a household with a father who didn't particularly like Aaron, thus every time he heard the name Burr it was always spoken with a venomous tone. To Philip, Aaron Burr wasn't a person, Aaron burr was only a name. A name that stole Philip's grandfather’s seat in the senate, a name that he had been conditioned to hate since the day he was born.

Although Philip believed he would never hear the name Aaron in a good light, he would now hear the name Burr in a different way than he ever thought possible. Instead of thinking of his father's rants, or the man who had no opinions, Philip would now think of a girl with spirit. A girl with a unique kind of intelligence. Philip would think of Theodosia, and so he would smile.

Philip never thought he would take Aaron Burr's advice. But after a while he found that he had run out of options. So Philip hid his feelings, and decided to smile more.

He thought back to the times when he was young. He remembered how he would lay eyes on a pretty girl walking down the streets, and immediately declare he was in love with her. But only now did he realize that he hadn't the slightest idea what love was. Now he was sure he understood. It felt like with every step he was falling over his own feet. He felt like he was constantly hurting himself in the process of trying to make her happy. And yet he absolutely loved doing it. When Philip had a crush, he would often say that the person who he was smitten with had a metaphorical knife to his throat. The thing that made what he had with Theodosia different from the rest was the fact that this time he was grabbing her hand and putting it there.

“Philip!” Philip perked his head up as he heard Angie running through the house. Seconds after Angie had called his name, Philip heard a frantic knock at his door.

“Come in.” Philip called from his bed.

“You have got to see this.” Said Angie while rushing through Philip’s door with a newspaper in her hand.

“What is it?” Philip asked as he sat up on his bed.

“Look.” Was all Angie said before shoving the newspaper in Philip's face. Philip took the newspaper in his hands and studied it carefully.

“Holy shit.” Philip muttered. “This is outraging.”

“I know!” Angie exclaimed.

“Who the hell does George Eaker think he is?” Philip shoved the newspaper back into Angie's hands.

“I haven't the slightest idea who he thinks he is.” Angie crossed her arms. “But I think he's a pompous dick socket.” 

“George Eacker can suck. My. Dick.” Philip stood up from where he had been sitting and began to walk out of his room.

“Philip! Where are you going?” Angie called after him.

“To confront him. No one talks about pops like that.” Philip strolled through his bedroom door.

“Hell yeah!” Philip heard Angie yell to him as he walked down the stairs. He grabbed his coat from a hanger and quickly put it on before walking outside.

 

Philip walked down the streets of New York looking left and right for George Eaker, or at least someone who could say where he was. Philip was reaching his breaking point, he decided to ask one last person before he gave up and went home. He approached two girls who were standing on the side of the street and chatting.

“Ladies, do you happen to know where George Eaker is by any chance?” He asked. Both girls seemed to know who Philip was, considering the fact that they looked both shocked and flustered at the same time.

“Why, as a matter of fact, we have.” Said the first girl. “I saw him just a couple of blocks that way.”

“I think he was going to see a play.” The second girl spoke up. “I hope you don't mind me asking, but what causes you to seek out George Eaker?”

“He disparaged my father's legacy, and I’m not going to let him get away with it. Thank you, ladies.” Philip began to walk off before turning back around. “And may I say, you two look absolutely lovely in your dresses.” He could hear the two girls giggling as he turned back around and began walking.

Philip only had to ask around a bit more before locating the exact location of George Eaker. He briskly walked into the theater and made his way to George Eakers box.

“George.” Philip said in a hushed voice. No response. “George!” He said in a louder voice.

“Philip Hamilton, I am trying to watch a show, so if you would please spend your time somewhere else, I would appreciate that.” George finally answered.

“I would be happy to let you watch your show in peace, if only you hadn't decided on talking about my father.” Philip crossed his arms.

“Everything I said about your father was true. He is a terrible person, as well as a terrible politician, and it seems you're beginning to take after him.” George never once took the time to even look at Philip.

“So now you've decided to speak ill of both me and my father?” Philip asked with increasing anger.

“It would seem so.” A smile played at George's lips.

“I won't take you talking like this.”

“Well what are you going to do to stop me?”

“I'll duel you. Right now.” Said Philip with complete confidence.

“Have you not noticed that I am in the middle of watching a show? We’ll go at dawn. I know where to find you. Now go away.” George still didn't bother looking at Philip.

Philip stormed out of the theater and back to his home. As soon as he had shut the door behind him he rushed into his father's office.

“Philip! What brings you-”

“I got into a duel, pops.”

“What?” Alexander asked in complete shock.

“I got into a duel with George Eacker.” Philip said as he began pacing back and forth. For once Alexander seemed to be at a loss for words. He just stood with his jaw dropped. “You should've heard all the stuff he said about you. I mean, it was terrible. Angie told me this morning and when I saw it I was just outraged, and she was too, and I mean I couldn't just let him-”

“Philip.” Alexander stopped him. “Slow down. Did you even try to negotiate a peace?”

“I would have been perfectly satisfied with a simple apology! But he refused!” Philip was now pacing faster. “I need your help, pops, I don't know how to duel!”

“Whatever you do, don't shoot him. You absolutely cannot take a life, it will haunt you until the day you die. When the time comes fire your pistol in the air.” Alexander got up placed both his hands on Philips shoulders.

“What if he decides to shoot me? I'll be dead!” Philip was getting more and more nervous by the second.

“He won't. Trust me. Now, I want you to get lots of rest tonight, don't worry your mother by telling her. After you're finished come back for breakfast.”

“Okay.”

“Make me proud, son.”

Philip walked upstairs. It had just begun to sink in that he might die tomorrow. Today could be his last day on earth. If he were to die, he would need something for people to remember him by, but it was far too late to do that. Philip knew for a fact that he couldn't leave this world without making up with Theodosia. So he would try his best.

An hour later Philip held in his hands a fully composed letter. In it were his deepest feelings. He apologized to her for whatever he might have done, and he told her how he valued their friendship. What he did not do was confess his feelings. Although every part of his brain was urging him to, he decided against is. What humiliation he would face his he were to make it out of the duel alive.

By now night had fallen, and Theodosia was surely asleep. Philip slowly creeped out his front door and began walking towards Theodosias house. Down the all too familiar path with completely unfamiliar feelings. Love mixed with dread, if that was even possible. Once Philip had made it to Theodosia’s house he quietly climbed up onto her balcony and slid the letter under the crack at the bottom of her door. Philip jumped back down and began started walking back to his own home. And as he walked back he only had one thought.

At Least she’ll know he was sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FUCKERS >:D. So real talk I know this could seem like the end of a fanfic, but it's not. So there will be more chapters.


	19. Impossible Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS ISNT THE END. ENJOY!!!

Theodosia bolted upright in her bed. Another nightmare. One minute she was holding hands with her mother, walking across the park, and then the next her mother was gone. Theodosia was lost, but no matter how much she looked, Theodosia couldn't find her mother.

Theodosia had been having this reoccurring nightmare ever since she was very young. Ever since her mother had died. She knew that she wouldn't be sleeping again that night, so she thought the best thing for her would be some fresh air. Theodosia threw the covers off of her and stumbled out of her bed. Her steps were heavy, for the guilt of what she had done to Philip weighed heavily upon her shoulders. She made her way over to the balcony doors, and just as she was about to swing them open, she noticed a letter had been slipped under the crack beneath her door.

“Oh?” Theodosia chirped as she leaned down to pick up the letter. She flipped it over to find her name written out in large elegant letters over the front of the letter. As smile spread across her face as she immediately recognised the handwriting and Philip’s. The thought that he might have forgiven her for what she had done made her heart soar. Theodosia enthusiastically opened the letter and unfolded the paper that was inside. But when she began reading, her once radiant smile fell from her face, her stomach dropped, and her hands began shaking.

“No…” She whispered as she allowed for the letter to flutter to the ground. A duel with George Eacker at dawn. He had apologised to her in the letter, but that didn't matter to her anymore, her beloved, Philip, could die. She wanted to run to his house and stop him from doing it, but the sun was already peaking over the horizon. He was surely already on his way to the duelling ground. This being said, if Theodosia wanted to stop Philip, she could afford to waste no time. She quickly threw on a dress before rushing down the stairs and shut the door. 

Theodosia was almost always composed, no matter what was going on. But today she had lost all sense of composure as she ran down the streets of New York. She was out of breath, but that didn't cross her mind. She could feel her legs beginning to tremble as she looked up and saw the sun rising even higher in the sky, she didn't dare think about slowing down. Mind racing, she began to sprint. At long last she made it to the edge of the lake. Theodosia frantically looked around for Philip, but she couldn't find him. He must have crossed the river already.

“Sir.” Gasped Theodosia as she hurried over to a man who had been fishing. “Please, sir, I need you to take me across this river.”

“And who might you be?” Asked the man as he looked up from the water.

“Theodosia Burr.” She said hurriedly. “There's not much time. You need- I need you to take me across that river. It's urgent. Philip he- he's gotten into a duel. I must stop him.”

“Why would I waste my time taking you across a river?”

“Please, sir, he could lose his life!” Theodosia began to panic even more than she had been, she feared that she would hear the sound of a gunshot ringing through the air at any moment.

“Alright.” The man gave in as be beckoned Theodosia into his boat.

“Thank you, sir, I owe to you my life.” Said Theodosia as she climbed into his boat. The man pushed the boat off the shore as he began paddling. Theodosia was absolutely restless. He couldn't seem to paddle fast enough. Finally, they had arrived at the other side of the river. Frantically, Theodosia searched for Philip. There she saw him, waiting for George Eaker to arrive. He was alive. Thank god.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

George Eaker was late, and Philip was getting agitated. His morning had started with him waking up and quietly and making his way downstairs, only to be met by his father, who handed him the guns he would be using.

“Be home soon.” Alexander had said. Philip had made his way across town and across the river. The entire way there he had been shaking in fear. He felt like he might throw up. 

And now he was stuck waiting for George to arrive. Philip began to pace back and forth. He hadn't the slightest problem with admitting to himself that he was afraid. Very afraid. After all, he had never been in a duel before.

At last, Philip saw a boat begin to cross the river. He was not at all relieved when he saw this. Just another minute closer to his death. Time seemed to travel so fast, for the next moment Phillip looked up to find that the boat was already nearing the shore. But to Philip’s surprise, the person who stepped out of the boat wasn't George Eaker.

“Theodosia?” Philip called to her.

“Philip!” She called back as she ran into his arms. Philip was in complete shock. He thought Theodosia hated him. “You’re alright. Oh thank the heavens. I thought you would die… I thought I was going to lose you.” She spoke into his chest.

“Everything's alright.” He reassured her as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. “I'm alive. I'm here.” Theodosia pulled away from Philip and looked into his eyes.

“I am so sorry. I know what I did to you is unforgivable, but please, if you could find it within yourself to forgive me? I can't bare to live with myself knowing I'm not forgiven for what I have done.” Theodosia took Philips hands in hers. The widest smile spread across Philip's face. He thought he might cry tears of joy. Like a million pounds had been lifted from his shoulders. Theodosia didn't hate him after all.

“Theodosia, please don't feel the need to apologize. None of this is your fault. I clearly did something wrong, and for that I am sorry.” Philip wanted to hug her again.

“No, my dear Philip, please there is nothing for you to be sorry about. What I did was childish. It was a fit of jealousy.” 

“Jealousy?” Philip scrunched his face up in confusion. “What could you have been jealous of?”

“Philip…” Theodosia’s voice suddenly got quieter. “I saw you with that girl… I saw how you kissed her. I… Well I couldn't handle my feelings. My heart had shattered… Seeing you with her. I understand if you wouldn't want to see me after this. But I do hope we can remain friends. You see I simply can't hold my feelings in anymore. I… Well, Philip, I think I've fallen in love with you.” Suddenly Philip’s eyes were the size of the moon. A million different thoughts were racing through his head. She shared his feelings? Yes, she did. Philip had always thought that no girl as beautiful or kind as Theodosia would ever love a man such as himself. And yet here they were, hand in hand. He was overjoyed. In Philip’s mixture of joy and shock all he could muster to say was,

“Oh.”

“I'm sorry for putting you in the spot like this. I shouldn't have-”

“Theodosia,” Suddenly Philip began to laugh. “Don't leave me so fast. I've fallen in love with you as well, ever since that night at the ball, but I never spoke on it, for I thought you'd never say the words.” Philip could see joy flood onto Theodosia’s face.

“Philip, I have no words to express how overwhelmed with joy I am.” Even still Philip couldn't help but blush at how strikingly beautiful her smile was.

“Then make no sound, my love.” Philip smiled as he slowly wrapped his arms around Theodosia's waist and pulled her closer to him. Theodosia draped her arms around Philip’s neck as she leaned closer to him. Softly, Theodosia pressed her lips to Philip’s. Instantly it felt as if he had been struck by lighting. What he had been dreaming of since the day he met her. Sparks began to fly as he felt like his heart was being flooded by the waters of youth.

“Break it up.” Came a voice from behind them. Theodosia and Philip broke apart only to find George Eacker standing by the shore with his gun. “I came here to duel. Not to watch you two kiss.”

“I'm sorry, George,” Philip stepped forward. “But I will not be dueling you.”

“What?” Asked George. “What do you mean?”

“I have realised that it is not wise of me to risk my life. Therefor, I'll not be dueling you.” Philip said, remaining calm.

“Yes, you will.” George stepped forward.

“No he won't.” Theodosia said with a more venomous tone of voice than usual as she stepped in front of Philip.

“Move out of the way, girl.”

“No.” Before Philip could say anything, Theodosia grabbed the end of George’s gun and began to try and take it from him.

“Theodosia!” Said Philip. “Please, put it down, I'll handle this. You could get hurt!” Theodosia didn't respond to Philip. She continued to look George in the eye as she fought with him for the gun. 

“Let go!” Shouted George. As he began to tug harder.

“I am not going to allow you to duel Philip!” Theodosia said in response. Philip continued to try and hold Theodosia back, but she continued to fight for the gun. Theodosia and George tugged the gun back and forth awhile more before Theodosia shouted,

“Let go of the gun!”

“No!” Suddenly an ear piercing gunshot rang through the air. Philip's heart sank into his knees as he watched Theodosia crumple to the ground. She rolled over on her back so Philip could see the bright red that began to blossom out onto her dress. Theodosia had been shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT. THE. END.


	20. Stay Alive

“Theodosia!” Philip rushed to Theodosia’s side as he felt tears begin to fill his eyes. He fell to his knees and quickly observed the wound. There was blood everywhere, his heart was beating faster than he thought possible, he couldn't lose her. So much blood. Too much. Philip ripped off his overcoat, balled it up, and pressed it to Theodosia's wound. She opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a raspy breath of air.

“Oh my god…” Philip felt his voice crack before he began sobbing. “Theodosia, please stay with me. You're going to live, I promise.” He looked up from Theodosia to call for the doctor that George had brought along with him, but instead all he saw was George Eacker running up to them.

“I am so sorry!” George was seemingly shocked. “I never meant for any of this to-”

“YOU SHOT HER!” Philip screamed as his sadness quickly turned into boiling rage.

“Philip,” George said, backing away just a little. “I swear on all that is true it was never my intention to shoot her! She practically jumped in front of the gun!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Philip rose to his feet and grabbed George by his collar. “She has done nothing to you! She is innocent! And now…” Philip couldn’t help but to break down in sobs again. “She could die.” Philip was about to shove George to the ground when he heard a faint voice from behind him.

“Philip…” He turned around to see Theodosia looking at him.

“Yes, my love.” Philip said while trying to remain calm in front of her. He didn't want to scare her.

“Philip, am I going to die?” Theodosia’s eyes were fluttering now, she was close to falling unconscious.

“No. No, you'll be just fine. Theodosia, please keep fighting, try your best to stay awake.” Philip said with a tear soaked face. “Where’s the doctor?!” He shouted. “Please, she needs a doctor!” Philip directed his attention back towards Theodosia. Tentatively, he reached under her back and slowly elevated her off the ground so that she was sitting up in his arms.

“Do you feel any pain?” He asked her as he pressed his overcoat to her wound once more, never breaking eye contact.

“I am not hurting.” She shook her head and offered a weak smile. She didn't seem to notice the tears falling from her own eyes as she lifted her hand and placed it on Philip's cheek. “Philip, do not cry over me, don't worry, I'm numb.” This only made Philip cry harder.

“I love you.” He said through staggered sobs.

“And I love you the same.” Her voice was barely audible. After what seemed like forever, a doctor ran up to Philip and Theodosia. The doctor crouched to the ground and removed the coat from Theodosia’s wound in order to inspect it. After a few seconds of looking at where Theodosia had been shot, he turned to Philip.

“Let me take her from you.” Hesitantly, Philip nodded his head and gently placed Theodosia into the doctor's arms. The doctor then rose to his feet, and carried Theodosia bridal style to the boat that had taken George Eaker across the lake, for the man that had taken Theodosia across had already turned back. Philip followed them to the boat. The doctor carefully placed Theodosia into the boat before turning to Philip and saying,

“I'll take her to the hospital immediately. As soon as you can, take a boat back across the river and inform her family of where she can be found.”

“Yes sir.” Philip said before rushing over to his boat and ordering the person controlling it to take him across the river. Just as they had left shore, Philip heard George shouting from where they had planned to duel.

“Are you going to just leave me behind?”

“Fuck off!” Philip shouted back, angry that George had the nerve to complain about being left behind when he had just shot an innocent woman.

The entire way back, Philip couldn't stop crying, and his body was unbearably shakey. From time to time he would look up from his boat to check on Theodosia, but every time he would see the same thing. Her lying down in the boat with the doctor leaned over her, pressing rags to her gunshot wound. The whole time Philip couldn't help but think it may have been his fault.

Once Philip had reached the shore he took one last glance at Theodosia before running to Aaron Burr’s house. In that moment, he didn't stop to think about what Aaron's reaction might have been to the news that his daughter had practically taken a bullet for his enemy's son. All Philip could feel in that moment was sadness and fear. 

Philip rapidly knocked on Aaron’s door, slightly embarrassed that Aaron was about to see him in the state of tears. Aaron looked surprised to see Philip when he swung the door open.

“Philip Hamilton, what could have possibly brought you to my doorstep, and in the state you're in?” Said Aaron.

“I-It’s Theodosia.” At those words Aaron’s face dropped all traces of cynicism and immediately took on a far more worried look.

“What about her? Is she hurt?”

“S-She's not okay, sir.” Aaron's eyes went wide. Philip was having trouble speaking, considering that he felt like passing out and vomiting at the same time. “I, um, I-I got into a duel with George Eacker, and I, uh, I went there. And she followed me and s-she…” He couldn't seem to get the words out.

“Spit it out boy!” Aaron was practically yelling.

“She took a bullet for me, sir.” Philip blurted out. “She’s at the hospital now. She's been shot.”

“Oh my god.” Was all Aaron said before shoving Philip out of the way and rushing down the street. Philip was about to follow Aaron to the hospital when he remembered his own family. They needed to know that he hadn't been hurt. So Philip began rushing down the street as well, but in a different direction.

As soon as Philip shut the door behind him, his parents saw he was crying, and were both immediately by his side.

“Oh, Philip, what's the matter?” His mother asked worriedly.

“I don't have time to explain.” Philip said hurriedly. “Theodosia’s been shot. She took a bullet for me.”

“Shit.” Alexander mumbled under his breath.

“What sort of situation were you in that Theodosia had to take bullet for you?!” Eliza was seemingly shocked.

“A duel.” Philip was now trying to get past his parents and out the door.

“What?” Eliza was now angrily glaring and Alexander. “Alexander, did you know about this?!”

“Yes, but we’re past that now.” Alexander said, quite obviously trying to get out of being yelled at by his wife. “Is she alive?”

“She was alive when we reached shore, I pray to god she still is. I have to go, I need to see her.” Philip was finally able to get around his parents and run out the door. He went to shut the door when he was stopped by both his parents walking out it aswell. 

“What are you doing?” Asked Philip.

“We’re coming with you.” Said Alexander “We’re your parents and we want to be beside you in a time like this.” Philip didn't really like this idea, but he had no time to protest, so he simply nodded his head and began running again. He became so focused on getting to the hospital, that he forgot to notice how out of breath he really was.

After a while more of frantic running, Philip burst through the hospital door, his parents following shortly behind him. He was met by the doctor who had been at the duelling grounds. 

“Where is she?!” Philip asked while immediately trying to run past the doctor.

“We brought her in twenty five minutes ago.” The doctor stepped in front off Philip so that he couldn't run past him. “The bullet missed her stomach by only and inch. Our doctors were able to remove the bullet, and we’re still trying to stop the wound from getting infected.” 

“Is she going to survive?!” Philip wasn't even looking at the doctor, he kept fidgeting and looking past him.

“We are trying our best, but she lost a lot of blood and-”

“Let me see her!” Philip demanded as he tried to push past the doctor once more.

“No.” The doctor stepped in front of Philip again.

“Damnit, just let me see her!” At this point Philip was practically begging.

“Mr. Hamilton, I’ll inform you of what happens to her, but I cannot let you in there, you're not her family.” The doctor remained completely calm, Philip didn't.

“She came to a duel I got into. She took that bullet for me. She's dying because of me. I will be allowed to see her if it's the last thing I do!” The doctor looked as if he were about to deny Philip again, but then his facial features went soft, it seemed as if he might have pitied Philip more than anything.

“Alright, her father is already with her. Be quick.”

“Thank you.” Philip said hastily before pushing past the doctor, running down the hall, and peeking in each room until he found Theodosia's. Without knocking, he burst into her room, while his parents waited in the doorway. There he saw Theodosia laying in a small hospital bed, she had blood soaked bandages wrapped around her torso, and she looked unbearably pale. Kneeling beside her was Aaron, he held her hand in his, and Philip could see tears trickling down his face and neck.

“Oh my god, Theodosia...” Philip breathed as he stumbled to kneel on the other side of her bed. 

“Philip...” Theodosia gave a feeble smile. Philip gently brushed the hair out of her face.

“I am so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen. I should have never left that letter with you, all of this is my fault, and-”

“What the hell is going on?” Philip looked up to find Aaron staring at him angrily. “What is this?!” Philip got up and backed away, trying to keep his distance from Theodosia’s now angry father. “Theodosia, I don't understand any of what is happening.” Despite him being angry, Aaron was still crying. “First you take a bullet for him, and now he's here talking about a letter! What letter?! Why would you take a bullet for Philip Hamilton?!”

“Papa…” Theodosia spoke in a hoarse voice. “I'm so sorry for what I did. Please don't be angry with me, but I couldn’t just let him go off to his death. It's an awfully long story, papa, but I'm in love with him. We’re in love.” Philip was now paralyzed with fear, he never counted on Theodosia telling her father about their love. Aaron's daughter had been shot because of Philip. And Theodosia had kept her feelings for him a secret from her father. Now Aaron was filled with boiling rage, and Philip could see that. Aaron got up and walked around Theodosia's bed so that there was nothing standing between he and Philip. 

“What?!” He said through his teeth while staring at Philip. “You know how he is, Theodosia! You know better than this! A Hamilton?! And you, young man,” Aaron took a couple of steps towards Philip. He tried to back up again, but there was no where to go, Philip was now trapped between a wall and Theodosia’s very angry father. “Are not to lay a hand on my daughter. I will not allow you to use her, only to throw her out, like you have always been known to do. I cannot believe for even a moment you thought this was okay, sending letters to her without my knowledge, like I would never find out about this. So god help me, if you so much as touch her I will rip you to shreds.”

“Sir,” At this point Philip was absolutely scared shitless. “You've got my intentions with your daughter all wrong. I really do-”

“Don't you dare say you love her! You wouldn't have cherished her! Given the chance you would have used her, like Hamiltons always do with the women in their lives. My daughter is not an object to be used.” Aaron took Philip by the shoulders and shoved him into the wall. Before Philip could say anything, his mother was standing in front of him, protecting him.

“Don't think for a moment that I would allow you to lay a hand on my son!”

“I wouldn't have laid a hand on your son if he hadn't gotten my daughter shot!” Aaron took a step closer to Eliza, but that was all it took for Alexander to bolt in front her.

“Burr, you need to calm the fuck down! I didn't react with anywhere near this degree of anger when I found out!”

“You knew?!” Aaron spat. “And you didn't think for even a moment to tell me?! Why, Hamilton, I’ll kill you.” He wound his fist back to punch Alexander when he was stopped by a weak voice behind him.

“Stop.” All four people looked at Theodosia. “For my sake, at least pretend you are at peace with each other for now, please.” Instantly Aaron's facial features were softened as he laid eyes on his dying daughter once more.

“Of course, darling.” He said as he went back to kneeling next to Theodosia.

“Papa, please let Philip stay, just for a little while.” Theodosia's voice seemed to be getting weaker. Hesitantly, Aaron nodded his head and said, 

“He may stay.”

“Thank you, sir.” Said Philip as he staggered over to Theodosia. Philip could see Aaron visibly flinch when he took her hand. Tears started trickling down Philip’s face again, but at a slower rate than before. Philip began slowly running his thumb over Theodosia’s hand as he looked into her eyes.

“Please don't go.” His voice was soft. “It's far too soon.”

“I will try.” Theodosia smiled.

“I can't lose you.” Philip looked up at Aaron, who was now crying again, before looking back at Theodosia. “We can't lose you.” Theodosia opened her mouth to say something, but all that came out was a series of coughs.

“Theodosia!” Aaron placed his hand on her shoulder as she continued coughing. “Theodosia, keep on fighting.”

“I love you, papa.” She whispered after she had finished coughing.

“I love you too.” Aaron said as he broke down sobbing. Before anything else could be said, the doctor walked in the room with two other doctors by his side.

“We need to do more work on her.” He said. “Mr. Hamilton, it's time for you to go.” Philip nodded his head before leaning down and placing a kiss on Theodosia’s hand.

“Goodbye, Theodosia.” Philip would have kissed her, but Aaron looked absolutely murderous.

“Goodbye, Philip.” Theodosia gave a feeble smile. Philip then got up and stumbled out of the hospital room, his parents followed him. 

The entire walk home, not a word was spoken. Alexander rested a hand upon Philip’s shoulder, it was slightly comforting, but it didn't take away the pain Philip felt. He simply stared blankly ahead the entire time, not caring about his surroundings. Part of him felt empty.

Once they had made it home, Philip wordlessly made his way up to his bedroom. It was still daytime out, but Philip wished it had been night, he wanted everything to be silent. So he shut his blinds and darkened his room before curling up under his covers and allowing for tears to slowly trickle down his cheeks. Philip didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but soon enough he heard his door begin to creak open. He perked his head up to see Angie poking her head in his room.

“Hello Angie.” He said quietly as he sat up and wiped the tears from his face.

“Philip, I heard what happened.” Angie slowly approached him and sat down beside him. “Are you alright?” There was a long pause. 

“...No.” Said Philip as he stared at the ground. “I'm not alright. I'm afraid. Angie, I'm terrified. I'm so scared that she might die. At the dueling grounds, before Eacker arrived, she confessed her love for me, and I also told her I loved her, if I hadn't done that perhaps she wouldn't have fought Eacker for that gun. She’s in the hospital right now, with bloody bandages all wrapped around her, because of me. If I hadn't left her that letter, if I hadn't felt the selfish need to be forgiven, she wouldn't be dying right now. She is on her deathbed because of me, Angie. And I can't shake that, ever.” He didn't even notice that tears were flowing from his eyes again.

“Philip, I haven't the slightest idea of how you might feel right now, but I’m so sorry. Please know that I'm here for you, I’ll always be here for you.” Angie pulled Philip into a hug, the two siblings stayed embracing for a while more until Philip finally pulled away. Angie got up from his bed and began to walk towards the door. Once she was in the doorway she turned to Philip and said,

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Philip responded. Angie smiled before walking out and softly shutting the door behind her. And now Philip was alone, left to bathe in his agony once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long! Also y'all better be greatfull becuase I could have just killed Theodosia right there and broken all of your souls, but I didn't >:). Thanks for reading and I really appreciate all your comments!


End file.
